Persephone: Parent

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Introduction: No Man’s Land

on February 19, 2013

I’m starting this blog to keep my new, current  journey separate from my usual blog. I linked to someone else’s blog from my original who described her journey (and my previous one) as being in the trenches. According to her metaphor, I’ve managed to escape the terrible trenches of trying to conceive (TTC).

I want to expand on her metaphor and introduce myself on this new blog. Some of the readers might be the same, but I fully understand why some won’t follow over; I wouldn’t. The trenches are where my fellow bloggers still are and where I barely survived for three whole years. In the mud and rain I wallowed for 3 years. Surrounded by the doom and gloom where even the sun could bring no heat, merely a bitter chill.

I suffered in wet dark conditions where my feet sat in the mud and mould, losing parts to gangrene or the rats. I shared those 3 years with rats and fleas, the constant fear from the bullets flying overhead. Hoping that one day the gunfire could cease long enough for me to pop my head up, perhaps glance across No Man’s Land, maybe even try and make it across to the other side.

And after 3 years, 3 so very long years, I managed a peek at No Man’s Land. More than that, with footholds and bullet-proof armour, I began my run across No Man’s Land. And run I did. And running I still am.

My fellow blogger had left her analogy at those of us who escaped the trenches and I’m not saying any of this to negate her views. I fully appreciate and understand how she means it: for 3 years I was always one of the soldiers left behind. Until I got given that bulletproof vest.

So, yes, I’ve made it out of the trenches. This time I’m the one that’s leaving the others behind.

But I’m still running across No Man’s Land. I haven’t made it to the other side yet. There’s no more rats, no more fleas, no more rotting feet, no more stale biscuits and meager rations and the skies are void of any gunfire noise.

Anything can go wrong in pregnancy, anything can go wrong in labour. Anything could cause me to stop. Dead. Anything could make me turn tail and flee back to the safety of the trenches. Perhaps I could trip. Or my armour might not be good enough, it could allow just one stray bullet in.

I know I’m a lucky trench-survivor and all I can do is hope I become a No Man’s Land survivor. With that hope, I can’t blog this run on my original blog, but I also can’t ignore the running and wait until I get there. The running, crossing No Man’s Land is a journey too.

I will always remember everything about the trenches. Its part of me now and forever.
~ Persephone M

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