Persephone: Parent

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28 Days to Go… If I can Count

on April 10, 2013

I’m incredibly tired today so not 100% sure I can count, but I know that my EDD is 4 weeks to day, which I guess is 28 days, or 27 depending on how you count.

Whatever, I guess, it doesn’t really matter seeing as it can be plus or minus 2 weeks. Hell, it can be way less than minus two weeks.

I barely got any sleep last night. I think Elvis (or at least the bump) grew right before bedtime and it made it all so awkward and uncomfortable. I now feel utterly exhausted. Was planning on going swimming again tonight, but not if I’m this tired.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or a random conversation I had yesterday, but I seem to keep having random moments of panic and fear today.

The first few months of pregnancy were horrible for me. I was convinced that after 3 years of trying and then paying to get pregnant, my pregnancy would not last. Lots of people say this is normal and changes after you see the heartbeat.

Saw that at 7 weeks. Nope.

Or it gets better after you see the baby at a scan and see it look like an actual baby.

Nope.

I stopped panicking and worrying, fearing the worst, when Elvis started moving so much. For someone who used to hate all pregnant bellies (they looked weird and moved!), I’ve fallen in love with mine and can happily sit there mesmerised watching bits poke out and ripples across the top.

Until today when I do keep worrying that I haven’t felt him move for a while. Except I don’t often feel him moving all day long.

And I have felt him move, just not as much as he was doing during the night (probably did not help the sleeping thing). I’m just starting to get the fear that things can still go wrong and as these 2, 4 or 6 weeks start winding down the fear could simply grow and grow (alongside him!)

As if on cue, a few kicks and ripples from Elvis and this post is mostly irrelevant!

~ A very tired Persephone M x

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