Persephone: Parent

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Planning Nature’s Unplannable

on April 24, 2013

I think its suitably time now to declare that day 3 of my maternity leave is terribly rubbish and all I really want to do constantly is cry.

It started off as mere annoyance that I was having TV problems, but then, I essentially got called anal by a friend and I am fed up with all of this.

Apparently making a birth plan makes one anal because whatever’s going to happen is going to happen. No matter what you write down.

First off, am I that dumb to not be aware of that?

Secondly, a birth plan is a plan, its advice. Mine puts down my main priorities in a birth not exactly how I want it to happen.

I think I’m just generally fed up with everyone else’s opinions. I’m sick of family who had babies 30 years ago telling me that second hand travel cots with no bassinet level is fine for a newborn. Immediately after declaring “they didn’t even have them in my day”.

Then what exactly do you know about travel cots and sleeping newborns?

Fair enough, newborns haven’t changed but knowledge has. And I’m the one who’s been reading, not them.

I’m fed up with people telling me over and over that I need to buy a steriliser and bottles. First of all it was in case I change my mind. Then if there’s a problem. Then so hubby can do night time feeds. Then to give Elvis a drink if he gets thirsty.

I shot every bloody reason down and they finally gave up.

I’m sick of everyone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. Not when not one of them understands.

It’s been 4 years since we decided to start trying to conceive and whilst we finally managed it, there’s still no real tangible baby yet. And even though there is finally a life maturing within me, almost ready to be, it didn’t happen naturally.

So no one with their advice knows what I’m feeling and thinking.

All their babies were 100% natural from the start.

So don’t tell me the opposite of healthcare professionals and what they advise, not when it was a healthcare professional that enabled me to get pregnant. Don’t tell me to share the feeding with hubby, when I don’t want to.

Don’t tell me that bottles of water will keep Elvis hydrated when that is medically wrong. Don’t tell me that I will need pain relief more than gas and air when it’s of super importance that I try and give birth naturally. Just because we have the ability to not be in pain doesn’t mean we should jump at it being pain free.

Don’t tell me how a newborn should be sleeping when you haven’t waited 4 years for that baby. And don’t tell me that babies have their own timetable because do people really believe that I have issues with things not going to how I planned?

I planned on having a baby when I wanted it. I planned on having my first child 3 years ago. I planned every single month during 3 whole years. And it didn’t all change when I stopped planning.

It changed when a nurse gave me drugs that I injected into myself and when a doctor put a catheter into my uterus and put hubby’s sperm there.

I got married, got the home, got the safe and secure jobs because that’s the first part of any plan to have a baby. But my entire plan went out the window.

So, yes, I plan on giving birth with no pain relief at the hospital I’ve chosen and to then breastfeed.

And I think I’m more aware of any of those family and friends who keep imposing their opinions that plans are simply words carried away by winds.

4 years I’ve been waiting and reading and hoping. So yeah I’m anal enough to write a birth plan and, yeah, I might want a natural birth far more than anyone else, but I spent 3 years with my plans failing because of my own lack of natural ability and if having a 100% natural birth can make me forget that drugs and needles made Elvis then that’s what I’m going to try my hardest for.

~ Persephone M

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4 responses to “Planning Nature’s Unplannable

  1. morasmum says:

    The amount of unwanted advice will keep on coming once Elvis arrives! 🙂 Breathe, your are almost there. That bump is yours, elvis is yours, and nobody will know him the way you do. Do what you want to do, stop listening, and remember it is your prerogative to change your mind as many times as you want without having to justify yourself (that was advice, but i had to say).

    Soon you’ll have Elvis in your arms, hang in there.

  2. Leanne says:

    Oh the joys of unsolicited advice huh? It happens all the time and over any topic. I’d find it more odd after all this time if you didn’t have a birth plan! Just remember they are excited for you it’s just their weird way of showing it xx

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