Persephone: Parent

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287 I Shouldn’t Be Here

on May 20, 2013

I’m sitting, waiting for over 7 hours to be induced, randomly getting contractions/tightenings that hurt and make me want to cry and I know that I shouldn’t be here.

Lack of communication and abandoment at last year’s simple laparoscopy in this exact hospital made me hate overnights in hospital. It isn’t that I hate or am afraid of hospitals. Only overnight.

And today is starting to feel like that all over again. I woke up from the laparoscopy with unusual pain in my shoulder (huh?) And there was no one to explain or help me in and out of bed. We’ve been given such limited information today and so many mixed messages. I shouldn’t still be here, waiting 7 hours later with no end in sight.

For the past two nights I have woken up frequently in pain from contractions/tightenings and have audibly cried out in pain, but I had a double bed to myself to spread out in. At this rate I will spend tonight in a cramped single bed, crying out and waking up others without any stage of induction being started. Where’s the logic in that?

Why didn’t I stick to my original plan and wait a few more days?

Why can’t I suffer these pains in private tonight and not on a ward with other sleeping women?

I really shouldn’t be here.

2 responses to “287 I Shouldn’t Be Here

  1. tazdream says:

    Sending love, strength n lotsa baby love to Elvis-maybe he cant find his blue suede shoes!!! Lol!

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