During Elvis’ first week (which sounds odd as we’re only in his 2nd) we chose to top him up with formula twice because I physically couldm’t do it. My milk had yet come in and I knew there was a problem – confirmed when we took him to a clinic. But after that clinic visit it got better. I had milk and 2 days later he’d gained weight and wasn’t in danger of being hospitalised.
But now, a week later and I can’t do this. My blog this morning was me so tired and exhausted, posted in response to my husband’s just awoken comments. And I’m no more rested now. With redness still in just one breast, I have no idea hpw I’m supposed to practically drain them when Elvis has finished because I’m supposed to hold and soothe Elvis. It was alright yesterday as he clustered and emptied them both.
I’ve only managed what little sleep I’ve had today because hubby took Elvis after each feed. But what happens when he goes back to work Monday?
Meanwhile as I barely feel alive, going through the motions of eating and sleeping myself, I hear hubby with Elvis and it makes me so envious. They actually spend awake time together. I just feed him and sleep, trying my hardest to stay awake whilst feeding.
But I give in now. My body couldn’t get pregnant. My body couldn’t give birth and I’m not strong enough to feed my son.
I give up
Leave a Reply