Persephone: Parent

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Baby Gifts: Nanny

Note: the following posts may not have been written when posted. I appreciate all views and any comments, which I promise to get to when Elvis gives me a minute.

From my side of the family, Elvis dips out slightly – he only has my mum. My dad passed away over 10 years ago. Whereas from hubby’s side, Elvis gets super lucky with hubby having a mum, dad, step-mum and step-dad all vying for his love! Just kidding.

Personally, I don’t know much about grandparents; by the age of 4 I had none left. But I know that I want to try and get all 5 of Elvis’ grandparents to have different names.

As my mum’s only child and provider of grandchildren, she got first choice of titles -Nanny. Now Nanny is also the only local grandparent so her “gifts” are different to everyone else’s. Nanny has bought the cot and mattress along with loads of clothes for multiple age ranges! But the gifts I’ll highlight as fun ones are: Lenny the Lamb, Bunny and Thomas!

Lenny the Lamb was a raffle prize and Bunny was bought because I had a toy bunny (Jasper) so Elvis needs one, too! Then Nanny bought the first Thomas the Tank. Classic Nanny!

This is the same Nanny who had her spare bedroom recarpeted with a car race track carpet! She loves little boys!

~ Persephone M

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Elvis Has Left the Womb

Day 288 or term plus 13 according to scans and I am well and truly utterly in love with my son.

I am alone with him on a post natal ward (there is a mother with her daughter) and I am already terrified as I have no idea how to be a parent. It brought tears to my eyes.

I also know that I love him like no other, which brought tears to my eyes.

I got rather high on gas and air earlier and was convinced of so many ludicrous things but one, quite logically if you read my blog or know me, was that we wouldn’t end up a happy family of 3. I was convinced of it (high) and demanded my husband choose our son (drugged up) when neither of us was ever at risk!

But after these two really long days I can say with pride that I’m finally a mother and have made it from the trenches, across No Man’s Land, survived the Waiting Game and am now on the other side.

Elvis has left the womb, folks, and entered my family.

Love to everyone who reads this,
~ Persephone M

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287 I Shouldn’t Be Here

I’m sitting, waiting for over 7 hours to be induced, randomly getting contractions/tightenings that hurt and make me want to cry and I know that I shouldn’t be here.

Lack of communication and abandoment at last year’s simple laparoscopy in this exact hospital made me hate overnights in hospital. It isn’t that I hate or am afraid of hospitals. Only overnight.

And today is starting to feel like that all over again. I woke up from the laparoscopy with unusual pain in my shoulder (huh?) And there was no one to explain or help me in and out of bed. We’ve been given such limited information today and so many mixed messages. I shouldn’t still be here, waiting 7 hours later with no end in sight.

For the past two nights I have woken up frequently in pain from contractions/tightenings and have audibly cried out in pain, but I had a double bed to myself to spread out in. At this rate I will spend tonight in a cramped single bed, crying out and waking up others without any stage of induction being started. Where’s the logic in that?

Why didn’t I stick to my original plan and wait a few more days?

Why can’t I suffer these pains in private tonight and not on a ward with other sleeping women?

I really shouldn’t be here.

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The Year of 2013

image

So a few years ago for my friend’s daughter’s first birthday, I bought a moneybox and filled it with coins from her year of birth.

Now of course it’s also the plan for me to do the same for Elvis so that every single coin I get that’s made in 2013 will be for him. And, 5 months into the year, I finally got my first one! It may only be a 10p, but it’s a 2013 coin.

Why do I find this so exciting?

~ Persephone M

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Elvis In the Womb: Nursery Pictures

DSC_0438Do you think I’ve bought enough?

DSC_0443

DSC_0445 DSC_0447 DSC_0450 DSC_0453 SAMSUNG CSCI need a better image of the cot, but then I also haven’t taken any pictures of the moses basket!

 
~ Persephone M

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Elvis In the Womb

 

Some scan pictures of Elvis still in the womb:

august 15th egg cOk, so this is a scan of one of my follicles before ovulation/insemination/conception. I had three follicles ready to burst so the chances of this containing half of Elvis’ DNA is 33.3333%

EPSON MFP imageThis is the first “baby” scan at 7 weeks, it was used to check that there were no ectopic pregnancies, no OHSS and to check the egg sac and lining levels.

EPSON MFP imageThe 12 week scan, made no easier because I had a 7 week. Here is Elvis waving!

EPSON MFP imageAnd the last time I saw Elvis before his birth – 20 week scan. Taken on Christmas Eve with the Christmas present of telling us it was a he – Elvis!

So there he is, Elvis in the womb!

~ Persephone M

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Day 283: Verbalising the Worries

Yesterday I was reading through the blogs I follow that I get emails for and one of them stood out to me. I’ll try and find the blog link before posting.

The blogger said that they had been reading about mentally preparing yourself for labour and I wondered exactly what they meant. I’ve done my fair share of reading the facts with regards to labour and then, when it became relevant, induction, choosing to ignore people’s advice from their own experiences due to individual variability. It’s my preference to have knowledge and information regarding processes, signs and symptoms without knowing everyone’s horror stories.

So was that what the blogger meant? No, the blogger had read some information about verbalising, and therefore releasing, your fears, doubts and worries, that by keeping those things in a body could stop or at least hinder labour.

I don’t want to get into discussions or pros and cons or any sort of debate any more than I want people offering up their birth stories or unsolicited advice, but surely verbalising any kind of worry is good for the soul? It’s similar to writing lists before bed to get worries off your mind, not trying to solve the problems just simply getting them off your chest.

As I happened to be reading my emails with hubby sitting next to me I decided to verbalise my issues to him and he sat there and simply listened because there was nothing he could really say. He listened as I told him how I’m concerned that I’ve put all this pressure on myself regarding the birth. He patiently sat there as I admitted that I feel like a failure, that I’ve always considered our fertility problems being my body and my failure. For three years, once a month my body failed and, yeah, fair enough I’ve suceeded in growing this baby and nourishing this baby and doing as much as I possibly can for the good of this baby, but I can still be a failure.

And I don’t even mean the hugely pessimistic failure of something going so wrong that I still don’t get my baby dream. No, I mean that I can fail yet again because of an inability to give birth without assistance. And this isn’t a perceived view of how labour must go from propaganda where some organisation states that nature is best; it’s something I’ve decided that has become a stronger and stronger notion.

I tend to view it as that I was a failure in getting pregnant (you know that thing women are built for) I don’t want my body to fail in labour. By no means do I think that women who require assistance in labour as failures, just as no one else with fertility problems, no one else still sadly in the trenches, as failures. It’s just me! And I’ve now built it up to a huge thing all on my own.

He didn’t even laugh when I told him that I was scared to give birth because then I’ll have to share Elvis, even if it’s sharing Elvis with hubby. Which is crazy, but for however many months Elvis and his kicks, punches and reactions to being tickled have made him so tangible and my child that I don’t want to lose that. I sat there and told him I was concerned that I would push him away because until Elvis is born he is all mine.

Oh, and all the stuff about how I know he’s safe all the time whilst he’s still in me and once he’s out there are far too many things that I can’t control.

And so I told hubby all this stuff, crying very slightly at the time, but if I have been holding Elvis in, maybe now I’ve let the words out I can let him out. I haven’t solved any of my concerns/worries/fears, but I have shared them. So, come on, Elvis!

~ Persephone M

Blog I read: The Solo Mama Project

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Day 282: Still No Sign

I say no sign but technically last night I had another batch of period cramps which were accompanied by lower back cramping. Possibly slightly more uncomfortable than the 1hour+ on Sunday morning, but last night’s was only about half an hour long.

It did make eating dinner quite unpleasant, but after they were gone everything was back to normal.

He seems perfectly happy and, meanwhile, seeing as my countdown reached zero I’m back to counting how long this pregnancy is. So it’s 282 days since my last menstrual period. And am I now in some mystical 4th trimester?

My only real problem is that because Summer has been and gone (it lasted about 10 days) there isn’t much I can do for fun when it’s cold and windy. Where’s the fun in an ice cream when it’s cold? And there’s nothing on in the cinema I want to see until Friday.

Maybe that’s the one good thing about the in laws arriving tonight, hubby’s taking the rest of this week off as annual leave. I’ve been viewing it as annoying and disruptive, but maybe I can get a little bit of fun out of it. As long as we stay on top of the cleaning so it doesn’t build up right for when we lose the time.

So they can take me out to dinner until they leave or Elvis arrives. But I am not going to do as Grampa said and ask Elvis to hurry up because “Nanny Spain” (Grandma as far as I’m concerned) wants to meet him.

~ Persephone M

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Antenatal Info: Weeks 35 Onward

Following on from the earlier post (check there for info on all the data), here’s Elvis’ info from week 35 onwards.

Week 35.
Fundus Height: 37cm.
Approximate Weight: 3400g.
Lie Presentation: Cephalic.
Rel to Brim: Free.
Fetal Heart Rate: 128bpm

Week 36+5.
Fundus Height: 39cm.
Approximate Weight: 3900g.
Lie Presentation: Cephalic.
Rel to Brim: At brim.
Fetal Heart Rate: 126bpm.

Week 38+4.
Fundus Height: 41cm.
Approximate Weight: 4300g.
Lie Presentation: Cephalic.
Rel to Brim: Not engaged.
Fetal Heart Rate: 132bpm.

Week 40+5.
Fundus Height: 41cm.
Approximate Weight: 4300g
Lie Presentation: Cephalic ?OP. I think this means that Elvis is either right or left but definitely occipito-posterior. So his spine is more towards my spine, but at an angle. Hopefully he’ll swing to the front!
Rel to Brim: 3/5s engaged. This is how much of the head can be felt above the pubic bone. At 2/5s he’ll be engaged. Apparently a deeply engaged head before labour can mean a swift and uncomplicated labour!
Fetal Heart Rate: 150bpm.

No more check ups now!

~ Persephone M

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Antenatal Info: Weeks 29 and 31

As I’ve just had what was technically my week 40 appointment, I thought I might blog about all the measurements taken.

The checks/appointments after the week 20 anomaly scan alternate between midwife and GP. From what I’ve been told who you see doesn’t fully matter, but I also believe that midwives are better than GPs in these appointments. Don’t get me wrong, one of the GPs I had was really good, but he doesn’t deal with pregnant women all the time – midwives do.

So the appointments occur in weeks 25, 28, 31, 34, 36, 38, 40 and then 41. Because of my dates, I’m not getting a week 41 appointment. I’m assuming that the NHS plans are that you’d see the same GP and same midwife at all these appointments. I’ve seen 2 GPs and 3 midwives. The third midwife has definitely been my favourite so maybe it’s a good thing the other 2… left/vanished!

At week 25 I had an appointment with the GP I really have never liked. He barely said a word to me and the only real data he put in my notes was my blood pressure and the baby’s heart rate. My BP was 102 over 58 and Elvis’ HR was 136-144 beats per minute. Not that I’d trust that GP to read HR correctly!

It’s from week 29 that proper readings started being taken.
Fundal height: 29. This is the measurement which monitors growth and plotted on a graph that came with my 20 week scan. The graph is customised for each pregnancy. The actual measurement is taken from the top of the uterus down to the pubic bone.
Approximate Weight: 1700g. This is the weight from the customised growth graph so is only approximate for me!
Lie Presentation: Cephalic. This means head down.
Rel to Brim: Free. This details how far/if the head is engaged. Free means his head’s free of the pelvis.
Fetal Heart Rate: 132-144 bpm.
This appointment was my one and only with the second midwife.

Week 31+4.
Fundal Height: 33cm.
Approximate Weight: 2500g.
Lie Presentation: Cephalic.
Rel to Brim: Free.
Fetal Heart Rate: 142bpm
This was the first appointment with a GP I’d never even met before, but I quite liked him!

More data later!

~ Persephone M

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