Persephone: Parent

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Sure Start Centres

The centres are open to all parents, carers and children and many of the services are free. You can get help and advice on child and family health, parenting, money, training and employment.

From gov.uk

There are 16 in my local area. But these may be cut to 9. I’ve only visited 2 – one about 30 minute walk away and another 20 carrying Elvis – and I think it would be a shame to lose 5 of them. However, looking at the timetables for the 5 local ones, there are huge gaps in their timetable. If 5 out of 16 closed could they put on more things at the remaining 9?

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Experimental Sleep Night Two

Okay in some respects I gave up last night. In my defence it had been a long day. It was unbelievably hot and our whole city became completely gridlocked. We successfully made it to the other side of the city for a Little Pickles Market (great bargains) but then found ourselves stranded by lines of traffic. Now I’m used to walking across our city, nowhere takes too long at all, but it was amazingly hot and I’m breastfeeding of course so get dehydrated quickly.

And I had abdominal surgery 6 weeks ago. Read the rest of this entry »

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Experimental Sleep 6am

Ok so I put him down after that last post – it was 4am – and he lasted all of 5 minutes in his Moses basket before the noises started. And they were louder and had cries in them.

Now at 0400, I’m not ready to be awake. It is not morning and I didn’t want him to wake up so I brought him into our bed. But I only broke the co-sleeping no-no because I laid him on his back next to me and followed all the prepared co-sleeping rules. He snugfled and flailed for a few minutes and then we were both asleep (daddy slept through it all behind me!).

Here we are 3 hours later and we’ve all had a lie in, followed more of the anti-SIDS rules and I’ve had 5 or 6 hours sleep in 9 which is bloody amazing. Let’s all settle back and co-sleep some more.

Safely of course!

~ Persephone M

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Experimental Sleep 3am

So in my last post I described how for multiple reasons I feel I can’t have Elvis sleeping on me anymore. My reasons for co-sleeping in such a way that he was sleeping face down on me (tummy to tummy) were purely selfish.

He makes an awful lot of noise on his back and I’m a terribly light sleeper. Too concerned about the rule of tummy sleeping, I could only happily do it if he was on me.

It did make feeding easier as I’d wake up at the first cue – his little head moving around frantically – so he never truly woke up.

My reasons to end co-sleeping are also technically selfish – I’d rather be awake from noise than be kicked in my scar. But there’s no point in finding a different co-sleeping position as it will involve him on his back and noisy. Well, seeing as all co-sleeping (prepared and un-prepared) is against the rules I may as well go Moses again.

He had been sleeping in it at night fine. Until the noises and I stopped him.

At 10pm, he went down and I don’t remember sleeping for the next two hours, but at just gone midnight ne started getting noisy. I say I don’t remember sleeping as I felt like I didn’t, but I must have been in and out.

Midnight, he’s noisy and I feed him as part of the noise includes thumb sucking. He feeds for ten minutes and goes back to quieter sleep. Was that an efficient feed or not hungry feed? Whichever, I go to sleep concerned he’s going to wake up in far less than 3 hours; and he has done 4 or 5 hours regularly overnight.

3am and I’m suddenly jolted awake by proper full on crying. It’s the deepest sleep I’ve had in days, missing all of his feeding cues, causing Elvis to be wide awake (and screaming) for his nappy change because he pooed! When we co-slept I never slept through and he never woke up.

He’s now having a mammoth feed and hopefully it’s still dark enough that he goes back to sleep in his Moses, but we’ve all slept.

I’d call this trial successful so far. A few more hours and we’ll see as he normally considers 0500 as morning although I refuse to get up!

~ Persephone M

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Feeling The Pressure

So partly because Elvis seems to now be the wrong size and partly because of perfect other parents are, I’m going to try and get Elvis to sleep in his moses basket tonight.

Afterall, it is the safest place for him. So say all the experts. Thar and his knees keep hurting my scar – it was major surgery less than 6 weeks ago.

Wish me luck working within the rules. Maybe I’m tired enough to sleep through his weird noises or maybe I’ll give in, be imperfect and move him into the nursery, or suffer the pain of him kneeing my scar. Maybe I could find a better co-sleeping position that doesn’t involve breaking the tummy rule just the co-sleeping rule.

Whichever wish me luck because I’m tired and want to sleep!

~ Persephone M

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Overfeed Vs Starving

On the advice of the breastfeeding support lady who I rang yesterday regarding Elvis’ screaming at the boob, he may be screaming as he’s not actually hungry. Maybe he is giving feeding cues when he isn’t hungry, or I’m completely mis-reading the signs. Can a breastfed baby be overfed?

A lot of people seem surprised at his weight gain in just 2 weeks. Is it because he needed all the food or have I been feeding him too much? Has he realised this quicker than I?

Would it be better to overfeed rather than starve?

Can a breastfed baby give up requesting food? I mean if a breastfed (or bottle fed, too, it applies) baby cries for food, falls asleep after tiring themself out, will they wake up hungry? Or will they give up eventually after being ignored, or delayed enough times?

Take today, Elvis awoke at 5am (woo, a lie in) and fed, then he got up with daddy at 6 for half an hour and wanted a second breakfast at about 7am before we both went back to bed at 0720. I really wanted to go to a Sure Start group at half 9 so set an alarm for 0820.

We got up, I had a bagel and fed Elvis again. Then we went to the group (more on that later) where Elvis maybe started getting hungry, but then he fell asleep on me. At 1120 we got home (3 hours since feeding) and I quickly sorted some things before going around to Nanny’s. He cried the whole journey, sucking his thumb (soothing or hungry?) but fell asleep at the front door. It took until 1pm for him to wake up.

He cried a bit, but didn’t give any hunger signals, however we’re due out at 2pm so I fed him. Was it a force feed? He fed for 20minutes and fell asleep again. Surely that’s a successful feed, even if it was forced.

Can you force feed any baby? Wouldn’t they refuse or spit it up? Can they give up letting you know they’re hungry? Will they wake up hungry if they fell asleep hungry and ignored (whatever the reason for ignoring/delaying)? Which is better?

~ Persephone M

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Mummy Moment: Nanny to the Rescue!

This is Wednesday’s mummy moment because I was so far out of it yesterday! Honestly though, what a difference a day makes!

So Wednesday was just awful. Husband woke up, I was crying. Husband went to work, I burst into tears. Health visitor came around, I didn’t cry and Elvis fell asleep on me. HV left and I tried to go for a nap, Elvis woke up and I cried.

So I ran away to Nanny’s.

With Elvis.

Whereby I fed him and handed him over before going to sleep in the spare bedroom – the new carpet has cars all over it so it’s clearly for him. Well I maybe dozed for 20 minutes and got up after an hour. I miss my mum’s house (we lived there until we got pregnant). I miss having a spare bed. I miss good, solid thick walls and ceilings so I really couldn’t hear Elvis cry.

But we need our own family space.

After getting up, I realised that there’s no food for me there! So Nanny kept her grandson whilst I popped to the shop. It’s the first time I’ve been out without him. He’s been out without me plenty of times.

Perhaps its the exhaustion or always knowing that it isn’t for long, that Elvis is always with someone I trust, but even at 5 weeks old, I don’t miss him or worry about him. Is that so wrong?

So I bought and ate lunch, stayed at Nanny’s all afternoon and went food shopping on my way home at 5pm. There was only an hour to wait for husband but as soon as we got in Elvis started crying.

And so did I.

Hubby got home, I was still crying, took Elvis and I went for a bath – more mummy moments.

Thursday and I’ve had sleep, no mummy moments and tears? None in over 12 hours. I would like Elvis to stop feeding sleep soon though – there’s a sure start session I’d really like to go to in less than 12 hours!

~ Persephone M

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Wednesday Weigh In (Late)

I was supposed to write this post yesterday as the health visitor came around and weighed Elvis. Two weeks ago he weighed 9lb 6 and now… Now he weighs a whopping 11lb.

Clearly there’s no problem with his feeding, other than fussing and pulling. I guess I just have to try and remember that when I’m next exhausted or he’s next screaming and I don’t know why – he’s gaining well. I guess that, other than the pulling and fussing, breastfeeding is something I’m not failing at.

The advice from the breastfeeding support team is to stop him feeding when he’s screaming, if my instincts agree. And I think I do. First of all he’s gaining weight, there’s milk dripping from his mouth when he screams. Secondly he only does it at 2/3 in the afternoon and 8pm-ish – his bedtime feed. At the bedtime feed, daddy has taken him to calm him and then he feeds fine.

Is he screaming because he doesn’t actually want to feed? Am I misreading his signs or overfeeding him?

I also weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost a kg – 71kg! Either through my day of only eating cereal and sandwiches or because Elvis has helped.

~ Persephone M

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Healing Sleep

I’m by no means saying that everything’s resolved, but I’ve been in bed for 12 hours and Elvis has actually slept.

And so have I!

Maximum of 7 hours in those 12 and it’s probably nearer 5 or 6, but it’s sleep. Hubby went to work 3 hours ago with orders to stay in bed all day apart from a few hours over lunch.

To avoid only eating cereal and sandwiches I’ve been and bought ready meals. I’m not the kind to eat ready meals (except frozen pizza if that counts). We don’t even use jar sauces and make everything from scratch. None of us have time for cooking now so jars and ready meals it is for now.

I’m not sure if this is his growth spurt; he was still fussy, screaming at my boobs last night, but he’s at least had some sleep since then. And he’s only slept on me but I haven’t tried putting him down as I’ve slept each time, too.

I could easily just stay up – I’m no longer exhausted – but after lunch I’ll head back to bed.

I hope this has been the growth spurt, but his feeding hasn’t been constant so I really don’t know.

~ Persephone M

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Part Two

And apparently I’m dehydrated which explains the headaches and yesterday I ate only sandwiches and cereal. I don’t even feel hungry anymore. I just feel exhausted.

I’m going to fall asleep on the sofa as he feeds if I don’t write this and it’s not safe for sleeping. At least the bed is safe. Its prepared and so I freeze overnight.

We have no bread so today there can be no sandwiches; hubby could shop on his way home but I already go to bed an hour after he gets in and straight after swallowing however much of the dinner he cooks when I’m nolonger hungry.

I wasn’t supposed to have a baby and this is my punishment

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