Persephone: Parent

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The Rising Sun

on June 1, 2013

That’s a euphemism for hope, right?

Okay so last night got worse. The only sleep I’d had was 3-4 hours scattered from one am to 7am and then 2 between feed naps during the day. Those were each maximum of 2hrs because Elvis feeds far more frequently than the 3 hour maximum leave period.

After the evening nap, which was definitely less than hour, Elvis started his hourly feeds. To be honest most of his feedings are far too frequent, but that’s the point of doing it on demand. That’s how I got to my evening breakdown. I’d fed him fine, even got him down into his moses basket. But he awoke less than an hour later.

I was still all confused about expressing/mastitis/pain, Elvis was awake again and I could not cope with another night like the past 2. Cluster feeding is all well and good if there’s a slow down. I can’t feed him every hour for over 30minutes a piece.

So on that went untill 11pm when, at some point , I kicked hubby out of bed – he has a cold and I don’t need both boys snoring as I struggle to stay awake. There was one last feed and then, magically I went to sleep, awaking at 10 past 2 with his 3 hourly feed due at half past.

I feel kind of hopeful and slightly rested. I’m still going to dread being in the same room as him as I try and sleep, dreading him waking up. I’m still envious of the far greater bond between daddy and Elvis. And I’m still not really sure that I can do this, but for the moment I take back my giving in and have hope he sleeps more than an hour.

Time to try putting him down…

~ Persephone M

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