Persephone: Parent

A fine site

Day 21 Curveball

on June 12, 2013

Elvis is officially now 3 weeks old today! And is it sad that it means I’m almost half way to when everything settles down. Or that it’s now 5 months and 1 week until I can introduce solid food.

Breastfeeding shouldn’t have a countdown on it! But we’re still in the newbie stage.

So after a horrendous cluster feeding session last night, Elvis’ nighttime feeds were much better. He did start constantly feeding at 5am though. Until hubby left for work and I decided on co-sleeping.

Any other time that either of us has settled Elvis on us it’s been on the chest/stomach both of us with heads up. This morning I did it by laid back feeding first. I’m not sure how well the feed went as I got sleepy and stopped supporting his head, allowing it to be at an angle to his body. Apparently he won’t swallow in that position, according to all midwives, but he didn’t complain.

But sleep we both then did for a few hours and after a bit more laid back feeding, we got up at gone 11am.

Unfortunately today’s curveball is that he then spent all afternoon (usually asleep) wanting to feed simply to sleep and everytime I put him down he’d cry. So he’d cue for feeding and fall asleep within minutes.

I tried to make lunch. He cried.

I put him down to change him. He cried.

I needed the toilet. He cried.

Eventually I gave in and went back to bed with him. No feeding but got him to sleep across my tummy again. For over an hour.

And soon hubby came home to a wide awake Elvis who hasn’t wanted to clusterfeed yet but also won’t settle fully.

I seem to be better at the napping part of breastfeeding/newborn raising. And there seems to be far less pain. But I’d like him to sleep and not need quite so much nursing because if everything says I can’t let a newborn cry, how am I supposed to do anything?

Apparently allowing a baby to cry makes them feel unloved and unworthy of their parents’ attention. It scars them for life (although it seems that everything does that – there are far too many parenting rules). Is this just if I let him cry or if he cries at all? I mean surely if crying raises the heartrate and dries their throat out, it’ll do that whether it’s a two minute cry because I’m on the toilet, a three minute lunch break, a nappy change or actual neglect.

I started this blog entry last night (Tuesday, day 21) and it’s now almost 4am on Wednesday (first wake up feed after we got him down at 11pm), but before feeding him (for which he was already screaming because I missed his cues due to being asleep) I needed to change his nappy and he near screamed the street down. Was I supposed to leave him in the dirty nappy to not make him cry?

Yesterday he was such a picky boy though that he’d still be in yesterday’s dirty nappy if I truly don’t let him cry. Every baby cries and as long as they are clean and fed, is there anything more a parent can do? Even for a newborn?

~ Persephone M


6 responses to “Day 21 Curveball

  1. If its a wet diaper, and he’s already upset, I’d leave it. If its dirty he will have to cry a little bit longer. And in all honesty, if the diaper isn’t full then I leave them in it. (Yes, yes, yes…I know what you’re thinking. I thought that too once.)

    And about the crying. A few minutes is okay. CIO (crying it out) is different than crying. And CIO doesn’t just apply to sleep-training. If a baby is colic sometimes parents let them CIO.

    I love your posts because they are so honest. I can’t help but want to comment. I hope you don’t mind. 🙂

    • Persephone says:

      I love your comments!

      I also try to be honest, it’s quite easy when it’s the middle of the night and I’m stressed, but the stressy times that I can’t cope with seem to be easing!

      There’s all these “rules” (changing nappies, crying, where babies sleep/feed) that no one seems to truly stick to!

      At the moment I don’t I’d go for cio over any of his crying sessions but even a minute of crying is against the “rules”!

  2. diynavymomma says:

    Babies cry, it’s all a part of the game. You are not a failure at parenting if you baby cries!
    Have you tried baby wearing, momma? Elvis will be close to you, he’ll hear your heart, he’ll probably fall asleep for hours in the carrier, and you’ll have free hands to eat, go to the bathroom, twiddle your thumbs because you can, ect, lol.

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