Persephone: Parent

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What A Let-Down

on June 14, 2013

I truly and honestly cannot believe that I went a night and day without crying. Things really have gotten better in Elvis’ short life so far. I honestly thought they wouldn’t this quickly. Without even glancing back at all my midnight blogs, I know how awful I felt, how hopeless it all felt and how there really was no end in sight.

Perhaps because of my years trying to conceive and then having fertility treatment in order to get Elvis, I’m so used to the failure, to having no hope and there being no light at the end of the tunnel, that it becomes the default setting. Once you’ve been in the trenches of fertility it’s easy to make new trenches of anything.

But at just 3 and a half weeks old there is light, I can see it and everyday it gets a bit brighter. There are still going to be hiccups, but I persevered and we all survived.

It’s also remarkable how different day and night are already. Or how I awoke straight away for Elvis’ 3am feed.

The one thing I’m not liking about the nighttime feed is my let-down. It hasn’t happened during the day and can’t purely be a blood sugar thing, but I go incredibly light-headed and feel faint. It’s a good thing I don’t stand up to feed! As I said it can’t purely be blood sugar as before starting the feed I’ve always got up and changed the nappy; there’s no dizziness then. Oddly that let-down doesn’t come with the coughing and spluttering that other let-downs do.

Other than that, I think we may have cracked the nighttimes and the days and evenings aren’t too bad anymore. We just need to work on his 5am feed that starts his day. I really don’t need to see 5, 6 and 7am every day!

~ Persephone M

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