Persephone: Parent

A fine site

Merry Christmas?

on December 25, 2013

When Elvis was about 4 weeks old, I took him to a gathering of friends to show him off. I was still exhausted all of the time and we were still struggling. Talking to my friends I did happen to say that it was all far harder than I had ever thought being a parent would be.

Someone replied: Well, it’s what you wanted.

It was as if I wasn’t allowed to complain because I’d wanted a baby. Worse, this person knew of my 3 years trying, knew we had fertility treatment.

Were they saying I couldn’t complain about being a parent because I’d complained so much about wanting to be a parent?

It was how I took it.

And in certain circles, it’s how I still act towards others.

With my new mummy friends, I tell them everything. All of the good. All of the bad. In fact, I don’t understand mummies who don’t or only share one side. But what I’m feeling right now, I feel that friends would tell me to suck it up or get over it.

That doesn’t work.

I’m finding this Christmas day kinda lonely and upsetting right now.

We’re at my family’s and E finally got overwhelmed and needed his mummy (he may have even said mum to emphasis his point) so I retired to the other room before pudding so he could sleep on me. Now I can hear all of my family having fun and I have the baby I dreamt of asleep in my arms.

It is upsetting. I want to be in there. I want to be with my family. And I feel bad that I’m upset. How can I complain when this is what I’ve always wanted?

When E was 3 weeks old we went to a family wedding and I missed it all.

I thought my baby would complete my family, not take me from all the rest of it.

~ P

3 responses to “Merry Christmas?

  1. It will come. I promise. It gets easier. They need you less as they get older and more independent and truly when you look back you will realise it is a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. And then they also become lots of fun. Elements of it are always hard but it keeps evolving.

    I’m with you, I tell warts and all to my mothers group friends. Well to everyone really but especially those friends. And I do not believe that you can’t complain simply because you wanted it so bad. That’s a terrible thing to say! For a start no one know what they are in for until they are a parent. And just because you wouldn’t change having a child for the world doesn’t mean you don’t find it difficult. You are human. And that’s ok. More than ok. It’s normal.

    Merry Christmas!!

    • Persephone says:

      Thank you and Merry Christmas, too!

      It’s been better today, still have a clingy baby because it’s all a huge shock for him, but we spent the day building toys and playing with them. That’s what Christmas is!


  2. […] the second part of the song has no relevance whatsoever. This is the link to the post I made last Christmas. Yep, on Christmas Day I found time to blog. Of course I did. Not […]

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