Persephone: Parent

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Friendships: Can There Be Too Many?

on January 26, 2014

Personally, I’ve found the past 8 months of my life to be accompanied by an explosion in the number of friends I have. In fact I noticed earlier that my facebook friend list has almost doubled, and I’m not one to really add random people. Before Elvis and baby groups arrived I didn’t have old school friends with whom I never spoke. I had family, friends and people I’ve met on holiday.

Truthfully, about 5 people were friends, friends in the sense of I saw them regularly and give them Christmas presents.

Is that too few a number?
Is my rapid influx of friends a negative? Or a positive?

Quite randomly this all stems from the singular episode of “Geeks” I watched earlier. I don’t really get the premise but two separate groups of geeks – in this one some cosplaying girls and some Yu-Gi-Oh boys – were forced together in Las Vegas. I think the point was to see if they could live normal lives. Which in itself I find kinda patronising.

I’m nowhere near as extreme a geek, but I see their way of life perfectly.

At the end, one of the 4 guys says something about how the week has helped him have confidence outside of his current social circle of Yu-Gi-Oh geeks. And I thought is that important?

Yes, to be sociable enough to hold conversations at work, for example, is useful, but to have friends outside of that interest? I’m not sure it’s needed at all.

When I was younger I craved other geek friends because none of my friends are geeks. Some may watch Dr Who, may have read Harry Potter and Game of Thrones, but none attended conventions, none can quote or converse for hours. Actually neither can I when it comes to Dr Who. The only geek friends on my facebook are ones I met randomly, usually online. One of them I’ve never even met before!

My friends and I share no real interests aside from a ten plus year history. My geeky friends live in far away places and I can see them a few times a year. We share no history but we could talk for far longer! I’d consider myself lucky if any of those geeky friends lived nearby.

If those friends were my only friends would it matter?

The cosplaying girls, do they need friends outside of the cosplaying world? Not just because society says it, no. Until I became a mummy and made some new friends, some new acquaintances, I had very few close friends and only slightly more acquaintances. Do I need to seek out more?

Do I need to find people with whom I share no interests?

How about the fact that I don’t really have any male friends, do I need to make some?

Or, if I’m happy within my current social circles, should I be content?

Can you have too many friends?
Is it okay to only have a few?
Can you be happy without any?
Can they be with the wrong people?
Do friendships have to be diverse?

~ P

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