Persephone: Parent

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Baby Envy: The Next Chapter

on April 20, 2014

After the bump envies. Who’s is bigger, smaller, more bump-like, more fat-like.

After the childbirth envies. Who’s was easiest, who managed to do it without drugs, who had the most/least complications.

After the newborn raising envies. Who needed to bedshare to survive, who found breastfeeding difficult and a struggle, who opted straight for formula.

After the baby in general envies. Who’s baby started sleeping through after three weeks, who’s baby hit all of their milestones early or bang on time, who’s baby was the first to say Mama.

Now comes, first birthday envies!

 

Strangely I never noticed it at Christmas, but I’m starting to wonder if the first birthday envies are more common than first Christmas envies. Is it now when everyone starts taking notes from other mummies’ parties, the presents bought and how the day is spent, to make their own child’s the best.

 

Does the envy ever end? Or do those that care anyway never stop, and those that never feel the green little fingers of envy, never even consider it? Is it all the same as when you were at school, those that cared a little too much what people thought, still do. Those that spent their time trying to make their own parties be the best, compared them constantly to those they attended before their own. Do those people that never compare, never consider other people in that way, have an easier, more relaxed life? Personally, I compare. I worry a lot that people judge me, that people consider and criticise how I do things. I spent months believing that bed-sharing was wrong and bad, that I was a failure for doing it and everyone was judging me on it. Until I discovered other mums doing it.

 

It was then that I realised that I bedshared to survive those first two months. I did what was best for me and my family. Elvis’ first birthday, his party, his presents, everything associated with it, will be better than anyone else’s because I’ll do what’s best and right for him and our family. Just as all of his baby friends will have the best birthdays. For them.

 

Who needs to be envious of everyone’s perfection?

~ P

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