Persephone: Parent

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Sharing The Journey

on December 2, 2014

How come I always seem to end up pregnant at the same time as thin people? Seriously! Maybe it’s my own fault for knowing people 2 or 3 sizes smaller than me. Before getting pregnant with Elvis, I was about a size 12, possibly 14 in trousers for comfort. Now, I do remember weighing myself for the first few months post birth and I did lose the weight. I just never lost the tummy! I never exactly tried.

But, this time around I feel like I’ve exploded. My pre-pregnancy weight this time was 5kg above my Elvis pre-pregnancy weight – the problem I have is they record this weight at my 12 week scan, after the nausea filled crisp fest! I’m not too sure where the new 5kg had come from, maybe my decreasing breastfeeding? Or simply a love of junk!

The annoying thing is probably my family who constantly make a huge deal about my pregnancy size. I was big enough to have twins last time. I was just a giant belly last time. Thankfully I have a lovely husband who never makes me feel so self conscious about my pregnant body.

I guess the worst thing for my self conscious pregnant self is being a 12-14 pregnant mumma next to size 6-8 pregnant mummas. Both times! None of them ever got as big as me, especially 42 week pregnant me! And I just look huge in comparison. At 4 months, I was bigger than a size 6-8 full term mumma! Or then the random, incredibly insensitive comments — it’s one thing when it comes from family and friends (most of whom seem to have learnt this time around!) but somehow even worse when it’s from a stranger. I can be bitchy back to family and friends, I can tell them their comments have upset me, I can be sarcastic back, even hurtful to them in a hormonal fit, but to random people? I can’t be rude back even though they’ve been rude to me. This pregnancy I’ve had “Oh, did you carry big with Elvis?” and “The PE teacher is only 6 weeks less pregnant than you, but you can’t even tell she’s pregnant. Are you sure there’s not two in there?” How rude are those people? People I don’t even know the name of! Well, people like that, let me explain a little bit of science to you – abdominal muscles are stretched during a pregnancy. Sometimes in a second + pregnancy, those muscles can separate a lot because of the first pregnancy. Especially when two pregnancies occur close together. It all depends on what your muscle tone was like before each pregnancy. Mine before Elvis would never have been as good as a freaking PE teacher’s so, yeah, I look far bigger. Or, perhaps there’s something wrong with the growth of my unborn child, thanks for bringing it up. (There isn’t as far as I’m aware and my fundal measurements are spot on so if I am too big, it is actually fat and not baby).

And that’s whilst pregnant, when I lie to myself that I need the chocolate, crisps and cake, when I feel revolted by meat but will eat pizza after pizza, when I decide to nap or relax rather than exercise. What’s probably worse is after the birth as I watch my size 6-8 mummas shrink back to that pre-pregnancy size and I don’t. I’ve never been able to lose weight. I’ve always cared but always been lazy! I can’t diet. I can’t exercise for weight loss, only fun. But how will I fit in swimming or jogging with two kiddies? And now I can barely walk around!

I have found an amazing new pregnancy hero though (through her breastfeeding photos) – Alyssa Milano. I was a huge fan of Charmed and did love all 4 sisters, although Phoebe may not have been in my top 3, and I recently saw a breastfeeding picture that she posted online – she looks fabulous! But then, after following her on facebook, I went back through a few images and found ones when she was pregnant. She wasn’t a stick-thin preggo. It feels kinda reassuring. Famous people are real, too.

Maybe I’ll just stay a blob forever. Or get the diet willpower. Or find friends who blow up and don’t snap back in days!

~ P

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3 responses to “Sharing The Journey

  1. I lost 68 pounds with Gods help by eating half my food. Maybe that will help you

    http;//www.talkingtomyweightlosscounselor.wordpress.com

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