Persephone: Parent

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Memories: Last Christmas…

on December 24, 2014

… I gave you my heart and the very next day, you gave it away!

Okay, the second part of the song has no relevance whatsoever. This is the link to the post I made last Christmas. Yep, on Christmas Day I found time to blog. Of course I did. Not because I’m obsessed with blogging, but simply because I, in my role as Mother, was alone in a dark room, depressed and with a finally sleeping baby in my arms. This post is being scheduled for Christmas Eve, not written on Christmas Eve.

I’d like to say, and am able to say, that a year later and things are far better. Last Christmas, we spent the days around it staying at Nanny’s, the day itself at an Aunt’s. Basically Elvis was completely out of his comfort zone. That was my mistake and I learnt from it. Since then, I have been tougher on seeing people, on doing things that I know upset or cause turmoil to Elvis. Partly for his benefit and partly for mine! Haha! I did spend a huge part of his first year, and more, feeling that I was alone in my role as Mother, that there was no other role for me. And then we hit a year, then we stopped breast feeding all together, then we started “normal” life – nursery and work – and then I had moments of me, not just Mother. The clock is ticking on Robin’s arrival (Christmas Day = 37 weeks!) and I know that with that comes another period of time where I may happen to be mainly Mother all of the time, but I’d like to think that I can cope with it a second time around, that I can fight my corner this time around and that I know it will come to an end!

To those of you who always retained your freedom or never cared it had gone, Merry Christmas!

To those of you who are awaiting a new bundle of joy, Merry Christmas!

To those of you “suffering” through a stressful Christmas because your child only wants you, Merry Christmas!

To those of you with no external help, Merry Christmas!

To those of you hoping to have more on your plate than Motherhood, Merry Christmas!

And may the New Year bring you the answer/solution/time/opportunity for you to be exactly who you want. At some point!

~ P x

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