Persephone: Parent

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Feeling Like a Success

on February 14, 2015

The other night, before the three days of Daddy working full time, I was in the bath once Elvis was in bed and I had this very thought: I’m doing this. I’m parenting two.

Then Wednesday happened.

Daddy got Elvis from nursery, left me alone with The Toddler and The Baby. I suddenly became really tired and although we’d planned that I wouldn’t put Elvis down for a nap (I’m not supposed to lift him for another 3.5 weeks) but after an hour I just gave in and convinced him to go upstairs.

Then I managed to kinda winch him into the cot, climbing up a chair and swinging in – probably not the best parenting lesson for me to teach!

I was sooo tired and he woke up only about an hour later. An hour and a half before Daddy got home. Well, lifting (yes, I lifted him) him out of the cot, he then preceeded to have a temper tantrum. He was hysterical. Then Robin started crying downstairs. She was safe in her pushchair and, although I knew I could stop her crying with a simple nipple, I couldn’t abandon a tantrumming Elvis to get her.

I don’t agree with leaving anyone to just cry let alone a newborn but I couldn’t leave Elvis. I consider that would have translated as me telling him that she means more to me. No matter how psychologically damaging leaving to cry may be for a newborn, surely he will be equally as damaged by me choosing her over him.

How do parents not leave one child to cry? And if extended crying, controlled crying is so bad, how do you avoid it with multiple children? Which do I pick to damage?

The next day, Thursday, I simply took him up for the nap at the normal time and Daddy was home before Elvis woke. Somehow we then avoided the current standard 4pm temper tantrum but I have had to carry him again.

Up and down stairs a few times. I’m sure I’ll be fine.

But Thursday there were no tears from me at least. Friday there were no tears from me during a new random early morning tantrum as I fed. And all this after two nights of barely any sleep because my daughter makes far too much noise! I need white noise. Or a wet nurse!

~ P

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2 responses to “Feeling Like a Success

  1. Its hard to balance it. I made the choice early on that if one of the kids was tantruming I ignore it. So when Zoey (who is the same age as Elvis) throws a tantrum I place her in her crib and leave her be until she calms down. (before I leave her there I explain that I can’t understand her or talk to her while she is screaming and when she calms down a little bit I will come back and we can try again.) I also did this with Alex and Nick and still do. I know that tantrums are their way of trying to express themselves but I can’t bring myself to cater to them.

    • Persephone says:

      I put him in his cot yesterday during a tantrum and he went to sleep. Haha. It’s just the tantrums when he wakes up? We think he’s ill again or teething. I’m close to mastering my sling so it should help. I hate tantrums and have no idea how you cope 🙂

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