Persephone: Parent

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Coming Clean – Mummy Struggles

on April 28, 2015

This blog is not what it was. When Elvis was newborn, when I was struggling so hard in the early months, I blogged and tweeted all of the time to try and cope with it. I don’t know what this blog is anymore, but it isn’t that.

I’m struggling.

The past 4 nights, Baby Robin has cried, screamed from 7-9. She cried everytime she’s tired and needs to go to sleep. She won’t take a dummy. She won’t nurse to sleep. She screams when I rock her. She screams when I put her in the pushchair for sleep. This screaming for sleep is all the time. All. The. Time. But after 7pm it’s Hell.

The past 4 nights, from 7-9 I’ve pretty much cried constantly.

I can’t handle it anymore.

She only sleeps on me during the day. She wakes as soon as she’s put down. She has no routine. She needs to nap at tea time when I’m trying to feed Elvis and SHE ONLY NAPS ON A PARENT!

I spend my day trying to get her to sleep and SHE SCREAMS.

It’s too draining now.

It all feels so hard when I know things are better, easier than they were. It feels so hard to me.

How do I get her to sleep that final nap when I have Elvis?

How do I get her to sleep for long enough independently?

How do I get her into a routine when Elvis already has one and she wants something different?

How can I do what she needs when it contradicts what Elvis needs?

Every time she’s screaming I feel like everyone nearby is wondering what I’m doing wrong. If I’m home alone, I think my neighbours are thinking I’m rubbish. That I’m a bad mother.

Why can’t I stop her screaming? I’m her mother and I should be able to.

How the fuck do I stop crying?

~ P

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5 responses to “Coming Clean – Mummy Struggles

  1. Awe honey. I’m sending big huge hugs your way. It’s hard. I wish I knew the answers to give you to make it better. Is it possible she’s teething? My kids screamed for days when they teethed. Also do you have a swing/vibrating chair for her? Those things worked wonders for my babes to give me use of my arms! Big huge hugs to you

    • Persephone says:

      It feels like she’s fighting sleep. Or wants me to do something other than rock, hold, push, nurse and I don’t know what she wants. Or she’s overtired which on an evening is difficult to preempt as I need to see to Elvis and she isn’t able to sleep alone yet. She is dribbly so could be teething; I’m not sure as he didn’t get a tooth until 11 months old. Sometimes I don’t think she even wants to be held by me. Thank you x

      • How old is she now? My babes all teethed different but our earliest tooth was 3 months and our latest first tooth was 9 months

      • Persephone says:

        My blogging made it the last straw and I decided I was fed up with the crying. The very next day I put her in her pram when she got tired. Apparently she wants to be alone to sleep! She just falls asleep, no crying! There I was trying everything and she just wanted to be in bed in a dark corner! Haha. I’ve been so much better since. Thank you xx

  2. […] posted recently about what this blog has become. It was a blog about how I was struggling and although things have vastly improved since then (hey, for two nights in a row, Robin has had a […]

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