Persephone: Parent

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Operation…Yucky!

The lurgy has hit the household and I, once again, feel like I’m dying. It’s just a cold, maybe a mild flu (achey, hot sweats, cough, dizzy/feint spells), but I am always over the top dramatic. Lucky the lurgy hit after my day away at a convention in London. Technically it hit whilst I was away. Yep, the first time that Daddy had both children on his own all day long and they both slept, taking it in turns so he only ever really had one to deal with. Typical! It did result in me getting a message once I was on my way home –

Can you get a taxi from the station rather than walk? We have vomit.

Oh, dear. Elvis then slept all day Monday, too. Ahh, Monday, the day that was supposed to be our last day together for Robin and I. Elvis hijacked it. Tuesday, which was supposed to be the first of 9 super productive spring cleaning days ended up being me watching TV with Elvis (who was hyper and no longer sick, but we didn’t know that at half 7) whilst Robin had her first morning at nursery. Wednesday, which was supposed to be second super decluttering day became a 90% on it day as I started to feel the affects of the bug, but both kids were at the nursery and I got most of my to do list done.

So, today, Thursday, supposed to be day 3 of 9 of cleaning, decluttering, jogging, shopping, being me and being amazing… I slept in until 9am (Daddy did the whole breakfast and get to nursery on his own. He’s amazing), had a bath, ate cereal, watched The 100, bought cookies and cereal. Moved a box. Ate cookies. Tried to nap. Had lunch and lemsip. That was at 12 just before I headed off to pick up both kids. I started to feel better with that lemsip. I think I just needed that amazing rest. This illness has given me such a short fuse. Robin seems to have skipped it. Although this evening she kept crying for incredibly random reasons. She hit me in the face and I jokingly said “Ouch, be careful, no, that hurt.” No sternness in my voice at all, and with a smile. She burst into tears! Elvis has spent the week having what I guess people might call normal toddler temper tantrums, but they’ve been whiny.

“I don’t want to get up!” Whiny meltdown. “I want cinnamon squares.” Whiny meltdown. “I’m tired.” Whiny meltdown. “I don’t want to go bed.” Whiny meltdown. “I don’t want to watch TV.” Whiny meltdown. “I’m tired.”

Seriously, go the fuck to bed because I have an awful headache and want you to just stop fucking whining!

This week I have been far worse than shouty parent. I have been screaming parent. I have wanted to swear at my son. Because swearing tells the other person you mean business, right? I have come so close to wanting to hit him. Just. To. Shut. Him. Up. All because I was tired, drained and exhausted and my head hurt so much. But I went to bed for over 12 hours and spent Thursday morning doing absolutely nothing and I feel better. I feel no guilt because I wasn’t being lazy, I was being protective.

Yeah, I still haven’t done my first jog of 2016 (I had planned to jog on days 1 and 3), I still have a lot of things to do on my to do list, but my junk room is already looking more spacious, I still have clothes shopping to do for work (supposed to do on day 2), but I still have 6 days left.

Unless Robin gets ill. Let’s not go there.

Robin, who has taken to nursery like a pro. She’s even happy wearing her shoes now! Everyone keeps commenting on how good of a baby she is (yes, I kind of hate how a baby is judged by how well they sleep and what their temperament is like, but it is partly true, Robin goes to sleep easily, she is so laid back and easy going, she literally leans back on you and giggles looking up, if you aren’t there she simply bangs her head on the floor and laughs!) I guess in a nursery situation “good” babies are simply because they make the workers’ life a bit easier. Robin started crying in the garden, so she was taken up for a nap and was asleep in a minute. Because she rarely cries. She’s also not overly fussed to see me when I turn up. She’s incredibly content.

Oh, and despite his mood, Elvis came home from nursery this week with two sunflowers that he’d planted and a lovely Mother’s Day card with a tree handprint and pink finger print leaves (it’s Stickman’s family tree, apparently).

Before the lurgy hit, I had an amazing weekend. I did my weekly weigh in (forgot to post, but reached my first target! Whoop!), then I spent the day at the arcades and climbing castles with the family. Went on a date night with hubby and after a lovely meal, snuck in a cinema trip and watched Deadpool (weird, not quite my taste, but hilarious). Sunday I spent in London and met 5 actors from TV and film. I finally met Greg Grunberg and Miltos Yerelomou! I’ve waited years! I’m not sure I’ll do a weigh in this week as I still feel a bit rough and, quite frankly, I have a good reason for slacking. It’s not being lazy or indulgent, it’s trying to recover and resting. I guess I’ll count myself lucky that this thing hit once both were in nursery even if it only gave me a few hours a day rest!

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Potential Convention Plans 2015

Here are my possibilities:

 

Milton Keynes convention is on the list for the potential of attaching the trip to our staycation and because maybe Hubby and Toddler can go and do something else whilst we’re there and/or make a weekend of it. I’m still unsure of taking Robin somewhere overnight and especially all four of us being in the one room for a whole night!

The activities I’ve found in Milton Keynes are:

For Bournemouth, I already know about the Oceanarium, which we should be visiting for our staycation, and there’s the beach. What else could we do?

Any tips on hotel staying with two little ‘uns? Or on visiting Bournemouth and Milton Keynes?

Or taking babies and toddlers to a convention filled with cosplayers and famous actors/actresses?

~ P

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My Planned Mummy Moments

Back in August of last year, I wrote a blog about things I desperately wanted to do — it was written in a sleep addled, desperation for some sort of normality in those first few months where suddenly you are no longer a person in your own right – you are a mum and that is all!

Here’s what I wanted to do:

1. Attend Hogwarts. Of course I mean the studio tour. As I’ve toured all the major studios in LA, I really need to do the Harry Potter ones. Not managed that one yet. I started to think about doing it this Autumn, either leaving Elvis with Nanny for a day away, or taking him with us, but I can’t survive a whole day like that, especially not with Elvis in tow. My body sometimes aches before I even get out of bed!

2. Go on the London Eye. I promised my mum a trip on the Eye when she had foster children. Well, they left as I had my IUI so we still haven’t been. Not even really considered that one, still really want to do it and maybe in another year or two. I like the idea of a weekend in London with my mum. See the Christmas lights from up high and visit all the Christmassy tourist things!

3. Have a pedicure. Or more than one. This might be doable sooner than a lot of others. Done. Just before Elvis’ first birthday in time for our first family holiday.

4. Visit a spa. This mummy needs a day of pampering! April of this year (actually around the time that I conceived), a friend invited me for a day of jogging, cycling, swimming and saunaing it up! I loved it!

5. Enjoy an afternoon tea. Some friends recently went to a local hotel for afternoon tea and it looked so yummy. It may have a spa there too. Still considering this as a pre-Christmas thing, either with a bunch of friends as a kind of second baby shower thing, or just me and hubby as one final date. I really want scones, cream and all the other fancy cakes. I’d love the spa aspect, but I can’t use half of it so there is very little point.

6. Have a lie in! Can’t remember how frequently this happens! There have been a number of occasions on the weekend that I have had to go and wake hubby up as he’s still asleep, as is Elvis – I try not to wake Elvis up on weekends as we often have to on weekdays. I think this Mummy Moment was written when I was listening to everyone’s horror stories about never sleeping ever again. My first child is a very good sleeper. My second? I hope to God s/he will be!

7. Sleep 8 hours with no interruptions! Has definitely happened, but with my pregnant bladder issues, I can’t remember what it feels like. I definitely got there, and not just the occasion I got a stomach bug.

8. Have a date, or two, with my hubby. Our wedding anniversary last February was the first date since Elvis arrived. It probably won’t happen at the next anniversary, Robin will be far too little. We’ve also had a few Sunday Cinema dates and evenings away for parties.

9. Go to the cinema. With me only managing to get in Star Trek Into Darkness and Iron Man 3 before giving birth to E, there are many other geeky films that I missed. I’ll settle with most of them on DVD for Christmas though. I didn’t miss a single Geek film that I wanted to see. Thor Dark World, Captain America Winter Soldier and the X-Men film. We didn’t get to the Spiderman film or Guardians of the Galaxy, but we only watched the first Spiderman film on DVD this year! I watched them all in the cinema, and even took Elvis to watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 2.

10. Go shopping for new clothes. And I mean when I know what my body’s like and normal tops that don’t need to be nursable. Ummm, yeah, did this and then discovered I was pregnant. I did not get back in to wired bras and I only wore my new wardrobe for a few weeks, including our May family holiday. Next time, eh?

11. Attend my conventions. Now, I’ll happily take E to most of them, but he probably can’t do the Milton Keynes ones due to the distance and cold location so I’ll do those alone. Hopefully! I tried in July, it was an organisational disaster, but I did get there, just never got in. But I went to one in London, October whilst 6 months pregnant and I loved it. I needed lots of breaks and seeing other mums with their toddlers made me crave a cuddle with Elvis (who coped perfectly fine not seeing me all day), but it was really nice just being me!

12. Spend a night in my bed. Maybe with my hubby, but certainly without E! When do night feeds stop???? It’s so strange that I wrote this at the beginning of August, within a few weeks, I had made the decision that I could not handle it anymore, that enough was enough, and Elvis transitioned into his Moses basket by the side of the bed with perfect ease — we had maybe a week of partial co-sleeping. As for his night feeds stopping, well, that was only two months later at the beginning of October. We’ve bought a co-sleeper cot this time to try and keep hubby in our bed!

Is there anything I would have added? No, and, yes, in retrospect, a lot of the above didn’t matter when it came to it. But they did matter at that time. I read somewhere the other day that, once you become a mum, you are never, ever the same person ever again and it is completely true, but I do think that you can start to feel like a new normal. Some mums seem to jump back into their life, have nights away within weeks of giving birth. Some mums still desperately miss their child a year later or refuse nursery places because they can’t bear to be separated. There is no right or wrong. I’m pretty happy now with the balance I have in my life (aside from the pregnancy pains) and I do worry about those first few months when Robin, like Elvis, will depend on me and I will simply, only, just be their mother. But I also know that the day will come when I can spend a night away, go out alone with hubby, socialise with work, be an adult. It might not be at 4 months when Elvis started sleeping 9 hours for Robin, but it will happen.

Hopefully that thought alone, that sentiment from this post will keep me going through those months where all I am is a milk machine. I can remember wishing for 30 minutes to do my hair, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs and have a relaxing bath. It was so important to me to be able to do something so normal as paint my toenails. Now? I get a bit bored sometimes and really couldn’t care less about painting my nails!

I do, however, have a few pregnant mummy moments that I’d like to plan in!

1. To have a glass of cider. I don’t enjoy alcohol at all whilst pregnant, not even a sip, and I spent all summer wanting a nice icey cider. Hello, next summer!

2. The above mentioned afternoon tea and/or one final hubby date before Robin comes along, or as a first date after Robin’s here.

3. To go swimming and actually swim rather than be in pain and feel utterly inept at simple breaststroke. I may never pay for a swimming membership again, but I will go swimming again. Hopefully next summer.

4. I’m going to say a jacuzzi which obviously I can’t do whilst pregnant, but I only actually really want to do it because I don’t fit in my current bath and I can’t submerge myself in it. A jacuzzi I could. This desire will probably wane, especially if we get the bathroom redone in the next 6 months (yes, I might be crazy).

I’m going to call these 4 things my New Year’s Resolutions and that I will do them all at some point in the New Year. I know I can and will, because I did the equivalent last time!

Happy New Year!

~ P x

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London Film and Comic Con Winter – October 2014

Apologies for the delay in this post! Life has been super, super manic!

Two years after my last successful convention (the summer version of this event was too manic and a disaster for me, personally), I made it to another one! With the thought in my head that it will be another two years before I can attend the next one (I’m avoiding the summer one forever and wouldn’t be able to go with a 6 month old, the conventions in Milton Keynes are at the wrong time of year really — one falls on my son’s birthday weekend), I was determined to enjoy this one and gave no regards to my usual budget! I guess I should explain the primary basic element of the conventions I go to; essentially I go to signing events. They are held over a day or weekend and have a variety of guests from across different fandoms and you pay to meet individual guests. For example, if you’re into Doctor Who you meet all of the DW guests, but ignore the Harry Potter. Or vice versa. On weekend conventions where it’s all about the one show (or small linked group of), meeting and getting an autograph with all of the guests tend to be included on your ticket price, but that’s why the ticket prices for a one day entry to a signing event are £8 (or free) and for a weekend convention they can be nearer the £100 mark.

I haven’t been to a weekend event in years and I don’t think I would now. I prefer the organisation, flexibility and randomness of signing events.

After I meet the list of guests that I want to meet, that’s when I hit the dealer tables to catch up on the collectable trading cards and maybe buy some random stuff. At this convention, I had a list of about 7 guests that I wanted to meet (I met them all) and only one TV show that I knew for definite I had trading cards to catch up on (2 years of Game of Thrones, but then I started Under the Dome and Grimm, too!) Surprisingly I stuck to within budget, even including travel costs and bought a few geek pieces of clothing for Elvis and Robin (a Gryffindor t-shirt and Star Trek Onesie).

I was very impressed with the amount of people who had young children with them — to the point that I am seriously trying to convince my husband to agree to us all attending next year! And I also loved how much extra seating there was around the place this time. I had two fears about the event – queuing for entry and needing to sit down inside. I worried that, even though I had pre-bought tickets for entry from 11am, the queue could be massive or I could get there too early (I got there at 1030, was in by 1105) and it wasn’t brilliant on my back. I also worried that once inside, there would be few seating areas and I would end up needing to sit on the floor which is not the most comfortable or lady like place for me to currently attempt to sit. Especially doing it multiple times. However, there was loads of seating around and as soon as I ever approached an empty seat, someone always said it’s free before I could really ask (perks of the bump). There was also loads of empty space around where I saw families having picnics on blankets (perks of a quieter event) and Sundays are usually even quieter so hopefully I can use that to my advantage when getting hubby to agree to go.

The seating was a definite major advantage with the fact that, even with short autograph queues, my back could not cope and I took at least 3 half hour rests (I was still home in time for dinner!) Next time, I would pre buy an early bird entry ticket but aim to get there for 10 or 11ish and just avoid that part of the queuing. But then, would I need to because I don’t plan on being pregnant in a year or two’s time!

~ P x

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Trying to be Me

Today was an absolute disaster. From me being so dumb that I waited for a train on the wrong platform after double checking, to the disaster that was London Film and Comic Con.

I don’t want to get in to what happened there. Some bad organisation from the organisers and from customers. Some very bad locations for a 2 plus hour queue (direct sun, no opportunity to sit or grab extra water without losing your place) which all meant I didn’t get to do what I wanted to do. But this post isn’t about that.

This post is about why I’m so affected by it not going to plan.

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Mummy Moment: Day Away #LFCC

After 13 months of just being a mum (which has nothing wrong with it, but is not for me), in the past 3 weeks I have returned to working a 12 hour week and am now sitting at a train station at 0720 in the morning, about to head off to one of my conventions.

It’s daunting.

I mean, I am not one who gets soppy at leaving my son, but I have never, ever, ever left him alone ALL day. I didn’t even see him before I left. I might not see him when I get in.

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Mothering Annual Leave

I’ve been struggling a bit recently – being exhausted one day, insomnia the next – and I really feel like I need a holiday.

In the past 12 months, hubby has gone away for the weekend for his 30th birthday, had at least 3 big nights out with recovery needed the next day and been away on a handful of football day trips. 

What have I had?

I had one night at my mum’s where I was home by half 7 in the morning. I’ve had three nights out where I was home by 10 (one with hubby) and one day at a spa (which was bliss).

I want to run away.

Hubby is currently sleeping off a work night out, he came home at lunch and took a half day. I had no sleep last night due to insomnia, but I get no half day. I stopped breastfeeding over a week ago, but bedtimes are still all me. In about 6 weeks I’m having a day away to attend a signing convention, I’m seriously considering staying there the night for an obscene cost just to have a day off.

Does that make me selfish or normal?

~ P

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Weekly Countdown: 7th May

This week’s countdown list looks like this:

  • 6 days until we go on our first family holiday, first plane for Elvis and first real break from everything in over a year
  • 14 days until the big 1!
  • 7 weeks today until I am back at work
  • About 8.5 weeks until my birthday BBQ, all children friendly and hopefully loads of fun
  • About 10 weeks until my first convention in over 18 months – LFCC
  • About 11 weeks until the first real trip to Devon that Elvis will have and the second family wedding for him

That gets us to the end of July almost and the school holidays, which should make work and nursery nice and easy. Then in September we have new term, new work hours and new baby cousins due!

~ P

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Countdowns…

I mark my diary with how many weeks old Elvis is (49, by the way) and also counting down things I’m excited about.

Here’s what I’m counting down to at the moment –

It is two weeks until our holiday. Well, two weeks yesterday, but that’s just being picky. I am so excited and curious to see how Elvis reacts. Sun, swimming, a dog in the house! And, of course, the plane journey!

It is three weeks until Elvis’ first name day. I have no idea how exactly we’re going to celebrate it in Spain, but it should be fun. We purposefully planned our holiday to end the day after his name day so that he had seven days to acclimatise. Fingers crossed he loves his day. Before we come home for his first party!

It is eight weeks until I return to work! But I only have one day of work in my first week so it should go easy for me anyway.

Then it is about eleven weeks until my first convention in almost two years. I couldn’t make any of my usual three last year, or the first of this year as my son was inconveniently born on the wrong weekend! If only I had my IUI a month earlier! Kidding.  I am incredibly excited about London Film and Comic Con. I’m mostly excited about what I can buy Elvis or how fun it’ll be in a few years when he’s coming, too.

And that’s it. For now! My next three months all planned!

~ P

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