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Robin Upset Me

My son is 32 months old and is just beginning to understand his emotions. I blame nursery. Haha. He now often uses being tired as an excuse for not doing things, but he is going through something at the moment. Like I said, he’s 32 months old. He’s just dropped his afternoon nap and he’s really exploded in his abilities. He’s more outgoing. He has a memory. He referred to someone as his friend. We keep talking to him about how things are about to change with Robin starting nursery and that our swimming lessons might be changing. I think he might be going through more upheaval than he did twelve months ago when he suddenly received a newborn baby sister!

Robin has started walking (yay!) and the day that she was doing lots of walking with her pram walker (which she now ignores just days later as she can toddle as far and fast alone), Elvis went and hid between two toy shelving units. I asked him why. “Because I’m sad.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Robin upset me.”

And my heart broke.

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Monthly Update: Month 24

Oh my God! Elvis is two!

Favourite toy/objects: Mummy the little person in the lounge. Daddy the little person (a farmer actually) in the garden.

Our swimming ability: He finally jumped into the pool!

Words: Sunglasses. Found mummy – when he found the mummy in his toy box. Mickey out – when he wanted to take his bedtime Mickey out of the cot.

Signs: Even though he can say stop perfectly well, he also signs it. Possibly because I sign and say it. I wonder if the more I sign to Robin, the more Elvis will sign back. The cutest thing was him saying “Baby stop (with the sign) crying” – adorable.

Number of Teeth: We got an 11th!

Fears: Apparently Elvis still hates hand driers in public bathrooms and he isn’t too keen on public toilets or public changing rooms.

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Monthly Update: Month 4

Weight, Length, Height:

Routine: We have one! It is not super firm and consistent but it’s there! Wake up between 0730-0800, feed, play, nap between 0900-0930 for maybe 25-45 minutes. Then feeds every 3hours, naps of 45 minutes max after being awake about an hour. On an afternoon she might sleep through a feed.

Bedtime: The bedtime routine is firming up – nap until about 6, get ready for bed, cluster feed until half 7 or 8.

Naps/Length: At week 14 the only pattern is that after an hour-ish of being awake, Robin needs a nap. It was also at the beginning of this month that she started doing independent naps in the pram.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: Sometimes 6 but sometimes 8. It plays havoc with my boobs!

Favourite toy/objects: probably her sit up ring although she can sit for a few seconds (at 14 weeks). She also really likes fabric books as she can eat them to her hearts content!

Clothing age: By 15 weeks I decided the sleeves on 0-3 were too short so Robin moved into 3-6 exclusively.

Foot length/Shoe Size:

Milestones: Rolled front to back multiple times, grinning each time (Elvis cried when he first did it!). She’s started to put toys to her mouth and reaching and grabbing for toys on her gym and pram.

Signs: I’m only signing milk to her and she does react to it/the word. Once when she was ratty I saw her hand possibly signing but it might have just been her hand moving.

Fears: nappy change rooms. Elvis still isn’t too keen!

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Monthly Update: Month 3

Weight, Length, Height: 14lb 14oz.

Routine: NONE! At 9 weeks anyway. Well, except bedtime. I think I need to be stricter, I need perserverance, but I keep getting lazy. Somewhere around 10 weeks, bedtime started to alter but the morning firmed up. She wakes between half 7 or 8. I won’t get her until as near to 8 unless she’s upset or still asleep. I love that hour! She feeds by 9 and then by half 12. There’s another afternoon feed between 2 and 4. The bedtime cluster feed starts as early as half 6 and lasts over an hour.

Bedtime: At 9 weeks old, Robin goes to bed at 9pm with me and, aside from 1-2 night feeds, sleeps until half 7 or 8. Sometimes she can sleep on me for most of 7-9pm. I wish she had an earlier bedtime.

Naps/Length: Nothing definable at 9 weeks. I know it’s still early, but I’d like there to be. She doesn’t sleep alone during the day. She doesn’t stay asleep if I put her down. She doesn’t stay asleep in the pushchair once we’re in the house. She refuses a dummy, needs rocking in the nursing chair. I’d like this to change. Partly so I can play with Elvis on an evening.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: At 9 weeks, 7-8 feeds. If she went to bed at 7pm it might change.

Favourite toy/objects: She quite likes her Fisher Price Gym and doesn’t like the Tiny Love one as much.

Clothing age: Into 3-6 in basic clothing by 11 weeks, clothes are far roomier and she’s in 0-3. Now in size 3 nappies.

Foot length/Shoe Size: 9cm

Milestones: Definitely reaching for objects. In her pram she was trying to get the hanging toy. On tummy time she can hold her head up at 45 degrees maybe getting close to 90 and she has amazing neck strength.

What I’m reading/Favourite Books:

Signs: I randomly have signed milk and mummy to her.

Number of Teeth:

Fears:

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Monthly Update: Month 23

I cannot believe it’s only a month until he’s two! Two!!!

Weight, Length, Height: 2 stone, 86cm tall.

Routine: No change.

Bedtime: No change.

Naps/Length: No change.

Favourite toy/objects: Over a year after we first bought Sophie The Giraffe, Elvis has finally started chewing her!

Clothing age: In 2-3 tops but they’re big and baggy. Trousers are a mix of 12-18 and 18-24 – his legs are too long for 12-18, his waist too small for some 18-24. He’s in size 5 nappies.

Foot length/Shoe Size: 12.7cm long. In size 6.

Milestones: his vocab has come on leaps and bounds and his colour recognition is much better.

Our swimming ability: he now tiptoes over half way into the baby pool, is trying to blow bubbles and hot potatoes each week. He also collected each correctly coloured rubber duck but hates dunking.

What I’m reading/Favourite Books: I haven’t read anything in the past month at all. His favourite book at bedtime is a Winnie the Pooh collection we have and a book about diggers, tractors, bulldozers and the like.

New Foods: Pie! Sausage meat in Toad in the hole.

Words: The sentences: “Daddy gone work” again and whilst watching Sofia The First and the Curse of Princess Ivy “‘Fia fall down”. He can also say dinosaur. Baby doesn’t just “cry” anymore “Baby sleep” “Baby wake” “Baby cough”. Oh, and Baby has a name “Bonalle”.

Signs: he signed and said stop when I was pushing him on his bike in the garden.

Number of Teeth: Still ten but he is definitely teething. This tooth/teeth are taking forever!

Fears: Nanny’s carving knife set him right off and I think the TV version of Gruffalo’s Child scared him.

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Monthly Update: Month 2

Weight, Length, Height: At 7.5 weeks, she is 58.5cm long and weighs in at 12lb 11oz. A little late, at 9 weeks her feet are 9cm long.

Routine: By just over 5 weeks, Robin had a clear night routine – all her. Anytime from 5pm her cluster feeds started until 8 or 9 when she could happily be put down asleep, stay asleep in her own bed until her 3 over night feeds (all with easy put downs) and then waking between half 7 and half 8. At 5 weeks, she goes between 2.5-3 hours during the day for feeds. Daytimes naps are random. Three weeks later and the cluster feeding is less and has 1-2 overnight feeds. She likes to nap after her 8am feed so I might try and form a flexible routine over the next month.

Bedtime: Last feed about 8 or 9, which was a feed to sleep by about 9 or 10. I go up to bed at 9 to either feed her or dress her in her sleep and go to sleep myself. At 5 weeks anyway. Pretty much the same at 8 weeks the fact that if she wakes after the last feed she self-settles. Elvis self settles with a dummy not truly on his own! The clocks change soon, once they have I’ll see how she is and try and get a bedtime routine in place.

Naps/Length: At 5 weeks, no pattern really. For a few days she napped 12-1 whilst I did the shopping/nursery run, and then 2-4 when we sat alone in quiet. At 8 weeks, the 12-1 is still there and she’s awake-ish from 0800-0900, 1400-1500 and 2000-2100. The rest is feeding/sleeping. Although I have decided that she needs to start staying asleep elsewhere during the day and not just on me.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: At 5 weeks, 3 middle of the night feeds, breakfast, 2 in the day, dinner and then clusters from 5 or 6 until 9. Probably 8 if you take the 3-4 cluster feeds as 1. 8 at 8 weeks. Sometimes 7.

Favourite toy/objects: She loves to watch the dragonfly batting toy on her chair and I watched her eyes follow Elvis across the room! At week 6 or 7 we put batteries in the mobile Elvis loved and Robin loves it, too. She also likes her playgym more than a few weeks ago. Especially the mirror!

Clothing age: At 5 weeks, 0-3 clothes and size 2 nappies. But we’ll be moving up very soon.

Foot length/Shoe Size:

Milestones: Definate smiles! Hundreds of them. Cooing and the cutest noises ever! Her head control is much better and tummy time is easier.

Our swimming ability: At 5 weeks and 5 days, Robin spent an hour being rocked, pushed etc by Daddy as Mummy took Elvis swimming!

What I’m reading/Favourite Books: I still haven’t read to her independent of reading to Elvis and I haven’t read anything the whole month!

Number of Teeth: Thankfully still none!

Fears: None.

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Monthly Update: Month 22

Weight, Length, Height: No change.

Routine: No change.

Bedtime: a few hiccups this month but still 7pm.

Naps/Length: 2-3 hours on an afternoon. This boy is all about consistency.

Favourite toy/objects: He loves just running around. Or being chased. Or playing with us. It seems like it’s just happened but maybe my pregnancy aches stopped me seeing it earlier. He’s really starting to like blocks and knocking them over.

Clothing age: Gone up to size 5 nappies and nursery put him in a 5+! He’s outgrowing 12-18 tshirts and I don’t have any 18-24 so he’ll be going into 2+.

Foot length/Shoe Size: still a 6.

Milestones: He can repeat so many words now on first hearing. Or at least tries to. I’m going to put his newest word here. He can say the name of a little girl at nursery. I am so chuffed. It took him forever to start saying mummy and daddy so to pick up a name we haven’t drummed into him is huge! He has also started physically copying a lot more, so mimicking actions including at the dinner table. Under close supervision he can drink from an open lidded cup.

Our swimming ability: The first Friday in March we went swimming again! Elvis loved it. He happily threw the toy in to go fetch, giggling as he fetched, kicking his legs without command. Splashing, clapping, doing song actions, copying, smiling. He loved it. At the end of class we count to 3 and jump in. Not Elvis, he reaches for my hand and climbs in. How sensible is that?

What I’m reading/Favourite Books: His favourite book is a Fireman Sam book from the library. I’m still part way through The 100 and Storm of Swords.

New Foods: none.

Words: Mine – picked up from nursery as we don’t use it at home. Tom, Penny, Elvis from a Fireman Sam book. Minnie and Mick as in Mouse. Bender from Futurama is Benger, Fry is Ry and he says Leela correctly. He told me to wakey wake when I was fake napping. He keeps requesting to go in the “back room” for us to “push” him on his “bike”. He can just copy any word. I love it.

Signs: He asked me to sing at bathtime, I asked sing what and he pointed at the turtle so I signed it and asked if he could sign it. Bless his heart he tried so hard!

Number of Teeth: Still 10.

Fears: Elvis has finally stopped being scared of his frog shaped bubble machine – he didn’t like the noise!

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Irresponsible Mothers

On the 10th January, I took Elvis to a birthday party and the next day I was informed that someone at the party now had chicken pox. About 19 days later, Elvis got them and about 17 days after that so did Robin. From my understanding you’re contagious the few days before spots come and maybe whilst you have the spots. So for those 19 and then 17 days neither child was contagious until maybe day 16 and 13.

How was I supposed to know that?

The moment Elvis came into contact with pox, should I have kept him at home just in case?

Should I have kept him at home for those 19 days and then a further ten for the spots to clear? Should I have taken a month off work?

Just in case he had it and could pass it on at nursery?

Should I then have not allowed Robin out of the house, just in case, and despite medical professionals telling me she’s was protected against it?

Was I irresponsible in both cases?

I rang the nursery immediately to tell them. I cancelled all plans for both of them in the week they each got pox. I rang/contacted everyone that had visited/seen Robin.

Was that irresponsible?

Yet I then get told by a friend that a bunch of work colleagues were unhappy that I was joining them for a lunch. Because of Robin and her pox. Uhhh, except I’d already cancelled. Despite how she probably wouldn’t be contagious by that point, I’d already cancelled.

Was that irresponsible of me?

It’s really upset me. Mainly because I was already upset that I’d let people, babies, come into contact with Robin at her contagious times. I feel awful about it. We’re not talking the toddlers at nursery, we’re talking babies – some under a month old. And I feel awful that I could be responsible for making those babies ill. I really don’t need someone making me feel worse.

Especially not a mother so irresponsible that they can make another mother feel so awful.

It’s made me paranoid that the group I went to, allowing Robin to potentially infect other babies, will never allow me back because of my irresponsibility. That they will make me feel awful and unwanted, too.

The mother in question might just simply have been worried about her own child but perhaps she should have spoken directly to me rather than make me feel like crap and irresponsible.

~ P

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Monthly Update: Month One

Weight, Length, Height: Okay so at 39 weeks pregnant I was 14 stone, and had 2 weeks of growth left. At birth, Robin weighed 9lb 1oz, dropped to 8lb 4oz before starting to gain again. At 4 weeks old she weighed in at 10lb 12.5 oz. And I weighed in at 12 stone.

Routine: Haha! That’s a lie actually we do have some routine. She feeds every 2.5 to 3 hours in the day and is already having a 4-5 hour gap overnight. Nothing else. Yet.

Bedtime: We go upstairs about 9pm,have a feed and are asleep by ten. Other than waking for feeds, she then sleeps until about 7am. Wake up time depends on how light it is outside. Apparently both of my children knew day from night pretty quickly, it just depends on when the sun rises!

Naps/Length: She refuses to sleep properly during the day so she can have very quick naps or mammoth daytime sleeps. Mainly only on me. With a nipple near her mouth. I’m finding it quite difficult really. If she decides she wants to be awake after a feed (which is fine in principal) she can’t make it to the next feed being awake so just screams. I jiggle her, rock her and she calms but fights sleep so much. And she’s so heavy now. Even in a sling I can’t carry her all the time. I might be getting good sleep (we are bed sharing) but I still tire very easily. I find myself crying a lot.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: We’re averaging 8 or 9 over a day with my food intake not having actually increased at all. Unlike last time.

Favourite toy/objects: My Boobie!

What she hates: wet wipes on her bum. I think it’s the coldness of them as she doesn’t scream at cotton wool wipes. She hates when I go for a bath and she can scream for the whole 20 minutes. And other baby basic hates like being put down, mummy taking more than 2seconds to get a boob out and sometimes the scary man who everyone calls Daddy.

Clothing age: outgrown newborn and definitely in 0-3 clothing. And I reckon we’re going to stop size 1 nappies. Just in case she has a growth spurt and then we havea load she can’t fit in!

Foot length/Shoe Size: Born with a foot measuring 8cm, today it is 8.2cm.

Milestones: She can track me/my finger and can now turn her head left to right whilst lying on her back. She also has moderate neck strength already. I also, honestly, think she’s trying to smile. She likes looking up at her dragonfly swatter on the Fisher Price rocker. Major milestone of having had 3 baths in a month! Already within 4 weeks she’s awake slightly more and happy to be under her gym, in her rocker or on her change mat.

What I’m reading/Favourite Books: She fell asleep to me reading Tabby McTat one night. I’m nowhere close to reading anymore of Storm of Swords at the moment but am about half way through The 100 which is on my Kindle. I’m really enjoying it, but it’s making me torn on my “ship” in the show.

Parenting Revelation: It is soooo odd going from routine to none at all over night. Because we have a toddler in tow and I can’t seem to remember the first few months at all. From 4 months, Elvis had formed a routine that I worked with. I have no idea about the first 4. It’s so odd to still have Elvis and his patterns and then Robin who sometimes dozes for 10 minutes and then is ready for another hour. I can only hope that she falls into his routine!

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Monthly Update: Month 21

Weight, Length, Height: Still 2 stone by our inaccurate scales, 78cm tall so there’s been a little spurt!

Routine: Up at half 6 or 7, when there’s nursery, home by half one and nap by 2. Later wake up on weekends but napping by 1. Dinner between 4 and half 5, bath at 6.15 and bed at 7.

Bedtime: 7pm but he can talk to himself for a bit. Or go straight to sleep.

Naps/Length: Two-three hours in the afternoon. He wakes and often has a tantrum now which could be because he’s tired still but he can’t have longer due to nursery. Maybe it’s a blood sugar issue and he needs a snack before napping.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: three meals, 1-2 snacks and a second breakfast at nursery!

Favourite toy/objects: NiNi his bouncy horse, his desk which he calls a car and climbs under to drive it.

Clothing age: mainly 18-24 but still in smaller for trousers due to his waist, not his leg length.

Foot length/Shoe Size: size 6 but he refused to be measured properly!

Milestones: a three word sentence – baby sit chair. And loads of other speech ones. His imaginary play is improving too. I guess his desk/car is roleplay and he loves his little doll house and putting animals/people in bed, on the toilet, cooking dinner, driving a car. He can also walk pretty much all the way home from nursery (a 15 minute walk for me).

Our swimming ability: he hasn’t been since before Robin was born. I haven’t since September!

What I’m reading/Favourite Books: He loves Bizzy Bear books, Tabby McTat and Gruffalo. I’m still reading Storm of Swords and also The 100.

New Foods: He tried pulled pork and, bearing in mind he’s not too keen on meat, he ate some and went back for more!

Words: Sleeve, sheep and numbers up to 10 (not in order) are some of this month’s new words. He also now calls our family friend MoMo. He can also name most of the main crew of Thomas Trains. Except Thomas. And he copies quicker now – money after I said it and also “funny haha”. He says night night but with this amazingly funny accent so it sounds like noight and Daddy and I laugh so he says it more!

Signs: he can sign zebra after I showed him it once!

Number of Teeth: No new ones – still 10.

Fears: nothing in particular. Or at least nothing new or that scared him this month!

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