Persephone: Parent

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Wednesday Weigh In (Late)

I was supposed to write this post yesterday as the health visitor came around and weighed Elvis. Two weeks ago he weighed 9lb 6 and now… Now he weighs a whopping 11lb.

Clearly there’s no problem with his feeding, other than fussing and pulling. I guess I just have to try and remember that when I’m next exhausted or he’s next screaming and I don’t know why – he’s gaining well. I guess that, other than the pulling and fussing, breastfeeding is something I’m not failing at.

The advice from the breastfeeding support team is to stop him feeding when he’s screaming, if my instincts agree. And I think I do. First of all he’s gaining weight, there’s milk dripping from his mouth when he screams. Secondly he only does it at 2/3 in the afternoon and 8pm-ish – his bedtime feed. At the bedtime feed, daddy has taken him to calm him and then he feeds fine.

Is he screaming because he doesn’t actually want to feed? Am I misreading his signs or overfeeding him?

I also weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost a kg – 71kg! Either through my day of only eating cereal and sandwiches or because Elvis has helped.

~ Persephone M

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Struggling

I am so tired and everything is such a struggle. He barely sleeps so I barely sleep. I’d developed the ability to actually do things – 5 minute clean, wash up, put the washing on. Now I don’t even time to sleep.

I’m really not sure how much I can cope with and, although I’m calmer than earlier, I’m really not sure I’m meant to be a parent.

There’s a reason why I couldn’t conceive naturally.

Things are only seeming a bit better right now because he’s asleep on me (I daren’t put him down) and the health visitor just left. He’s jumped up a percentile, hence why he needs boobie so often.

And she’s worried about me.

~ Persephone M

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Three Weeks Later

Okay as it’s Monday it isn’t fully three weeks later, more 20 days, but today is when I need to get Elvis weighed.

Born weighing 8lb 9oz and dropping down to 7lb something I think, when he was last weighed Elvis was 8lb 6oz. That was a few days before hitting the 2 week mark so, fingers crossed he had made it back to his birthweight.

Being such a doubtful worrier, however, I am really worried that he won’t have gained enough weight, that he isn’t thriving. This is despite him having the correct number of wet and dirty nappies. He feeds often enough, fills his nappies, but he does also leak every now and then and this weekend he’s randomly started spitting up.

I guess with bottle fed babies, you know exactly how much they’re eating and that each bottle has the correct amount of all nutrients that baby needs. With breastfeeding, is baby feeding efficiently enough, are they getting the fatty hindmilk, is mum’s diet good enough to give baby all they need?

Meanwhile, as with so many newborn based topics, it’s all on the mum. Is my diet good enough for him? Am I noticing if he’s not feeding properly? No one else can comment on latching on, not daddy and not Elvis. It’s all on me! Yes, I’m working on getting rid of all the pain I currently associate with breastfeeding – my back hurts a lot less and my nipple is healing (I haven’t even used the nipple shields I sterilised yesterday to limit my pain). We haven’t used formula since week 1 and I managed to feed in public and in bed last night.

My wrists hurt if I feed for too long and there is a general chest soreness most of the time (my new bras from Mothercare are helping that) and, having got out of bed 3 hours ago, I’ve also managed to put some washing on, do some washing up and got a 45 minute nap. I don’t look forward to waiting around at an open clinic to get Elvis weighed, but with hubby at work full time, there should be time for a nap after the clinic!

I’ve managed a 40 minute nap since the clinic and an extra snack for myself, too!

And at the clinic Elvis weighed in at 9lb 5! There I was worrying he hadn’t put on any and he put on nearly a whole pound. How come I can’t see/feel the difference?

I also weighed myself around at Nanny’s and I’m still at 72kg.

I’ve actually had a good day followed by a good night; my fingers are crossed for it to continue. Oh, and aside from lunch at Nanny’s today has been the longest time I’ve been alone with Elvis!

~ Persephone M

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Two Weeks Later

Okay so Elvis’ birthweight was 8lbs 9 and his last check was two days ago where he was 8lbs 6. He’s nearly back up to birthweight.

Meanwhile according to my 12 week scan, I weighed 68kg at that point. Just before I gave birth I weighed myself for the first time in at least 28 weeks – I was 83kg. I read somewhere online that the average weight gain is 12.5kg, I’d gained 15kg. I weighed myself on Monday and in just two weeks I’ve lost 11kg; I’m 72kg. I have done nothing to try and lose weight and I don’t intend to, I’m just curious.

Also to the family member who saw me after I’d given birth and thought I was still pregnant, I’ve lost over half of my pregnancy weight so… shut up.

And last night was nice and regular, too. I need to find more rest time during the day, which is difficult as Elvis is wide awake 6-9 morning and night. If I want to get any fresh air it has to be during the day which is when he sleeps most (after nighttime). Or have any other adult interaction. But it’s only been his routine for 2 days so unlikely to continue. Right?

Right???

Before lunch today Elvis had slept for two hours and then half an hour. I managed one of the two before the breastfeeding support lady showed up and I opted to have lunch in his half hour nap. Any nap he now has will involve me shopping for maternity bras because my boobs are killing me.

~ Persephone M

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Anxiety and Waiting

The health visitor came around today and said that we all seem to be doing really well. She also said that we can stop setting alarms for every 3hours overnight (midwives reccomend making sure there is a feed every 3 hours and that they can sleep through when they’re still newborn), that he will wake up when he’s hungry.

Literally the next feed I gave him (where he double boobed) he went to sleep for over 2 hours. When you add that to the length of time he’d been feeding, Elvis went over the 3 hours and my anxiety levels rose.

Until he pooed so I went to change him. And then he peed all over himself so we had to bath him.

For the first time.

More anxiety.

I’m now anxious over bedtime and nighttime despite last night being ok and me scoring over an hour of nap/rest today.

I just keep waiting for the next thing with my anxieties rising and rising.

~ Persephone M

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Day 9 Weigh In

Today we trekked across the city to get Elvis to his day 9 weigh in and, given my instincts over the feeding issues before day 5, knowing that he’d lost too much weight, I was freaking over today’s weigh in.

There was no need to worry though. Having been born at 8lb 9oz, he is now 8lb 2oz which is up from 7lb 10oz on the day of panic.

I was worrying so much before it though. I mean if he’s not thriving, he’s not gaining weight which must mean that I’m not feeding him properly. Or that’s how the logic goes in my mind. But he’s fine and the midwife thinks his 3.5+ hours of feeding last night could be his growth spurt. Yet he’s not fully draining me. Typical boy!

What the appointment has left me with is yet another day not 100% resting at home. Yesterday it was to register Elvis, day before my incorrect reading of a letter. Tomorrow there are no plans so maybe I can try and sort my body out!

Fingers crossed,
~ Persephone M

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