Persephone: Parent

A fine site

Mega Mummy Moment

I’m going to write this post as a two parter – the lead up and after-show of a Mega Mummy Moment.

Daddy has the day off to visit the dentist in an hour and the sun has finally gone, the breeze is actually kind of chilly! It’s lovely. So after what should be a feed at 2pm, I’m going swimming!

I am going to leave the house, leave my boy and go swimming. Alone. I am going to have a 15 minute walk there and back. Alone. I’m going to swim for 30 minutes. Alone. I’ll probably leave washing my hair until I get home, just so I’m not out too long. Just in case.

I haven’t been swimming since week 39, 12 weeks ago! I found it so relaxing whilst pregnant. I could manage 22-24 lengths in 30 minutes. My quick, painless recovery from my c-section is all down to swimming, I reckon.

I’m quite excited, fingers crossed nothing comes up!

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Counting Down

I was really I’ll Tuesday night. Either a bug, food poisoning or heat stroke. For over three hours I couldn’t even keep water down. Despite my gro-egg saying it was 24 degrees, I was wrapped in my thick dressing gown and duvet. After I finished being sick I slept relatively well. Even if I did feel freezing in this heat wave. My bigger concern was Elvis staying hydrated if I couldn’t keep water down. At 5am we were both awake and I struggled to put him into his cot as I lay on the floor beside him. I was physically drained, there was no food fuelling me at all. Hubby took me to Nanny’s (who didn’t hear a thing and is now concerned she wouldn’t hear burglars) because we weren’t sure if I would keep my toast down.

Maybe it was because yesterday was so bad (no more vomiting, but I was still feverish) or maybe because I feel trapped in the house, but I just keep counting down 3 hourly blocks.
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Dusk til Dawn

During the first few weeks of Elvis’ life I strongly remembering blogging (and I remember the actual time) that my most hated time of day was during the night. It was during those dark hours that everything seemed impossible, that I would be at my most tired and unable to last however long and however frequent he was feeding.

That passed a while ago, along withe constant breast and nipple tenderness that made showering painful, and now I have a new worst time of day – dusk. 8-9pm.

Why? For some of the same reasons.
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Planning Nature’s Unplannable

I think its suitably time now to declare that day 3 of my maternity leave is terribly rubbish and all I really want to do constantly is cry.

It started off as mere annoyance that I was having TV problems, but then, I essentially got called anal by a friend and I am fed up with all of this.

Apparently making a birth plan makes one anal because whatever’s going to happen is going to happen. No matter what you write down.

First off, am I that dumb to not be aware of that?

Secondly, a birth plan is a plan, its advice. Mine puts down my main priorities in a birth not exactly how I want it to happen.

I think I’m just generally fed up with everyone else’s opinions. I’m sick of family who had babies 30 years ago telling me that second hand travel cots with no bassinet level is fine for a newborn. Immediately after declaring “they didn’t even have them in my day”.

Then what exactly do you know about travel cots and sleeping newborns?

Fair enough, newborns haven’t changed but knowledge has. And I’m the one who’s been reading, not them.

I’m fed up with people telling me over and over that I need to buy a steriliser and bottles. First of all it was in case I change my mind. Then if there’s a problem. Then so hubby can do night time feeds. Then to give Elvis a drink if he gets thirsty.

I shot every bloody reason down and they finally gave up.

I’m sick of everyone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. Not when not one of them understands.

It’s been 4 years since we decided to start trying to conceive and whilst we finally managed it, there’s still no real tangible baby yet. And even though there is finally a life maturing within me, almost ready to be, it didn’t happen naturally.

So no one with their advice knows what I’m feeling and thinking.

All their babies were 100% natural from the start.

So don’t tell me the opposite of healthcare professionals and what they advise, not when it was a healthcare professional that enabled me to get pregnant. Don’t tell me to share the feeding with hubby, when I don’t want to.

Don’t tell me that bottles of water will keep Elvis hydrated when that is medically wrong. Don’t tell me that I will need pain relief more than gas and air when it’s of super importance that I try and give birth naturally. Just because we have the ability to not be in pain doesn’t mean we should jump at it being pain free.

Don’t tell me how a newborn should be sleeping when you haven’t waited 4 years for that baby. And don’t tell me that babies have their own timetable because do people really believe that I have issues with things not going to how I planned?

I planned on having a baby when I wanted it. I planned on having my first child 3 years ago. I planned every single month during 3 whole years. And it didn’t all change when I stopped planning.

It changed when a nurse gave me drugs that I injected into myself and when a doctor put a catheter into my uterus and put hubby’s sperm there.

I got married, got the home, got the safe and secure jobs because that’s the first part of any plan to have a baby. But my entire plan went out the window.

So, yes, I plan on giving birth with no pain relief at the hospital I’ve chosen and to then breastfeed.

And I think I’m more aware of any of those family and friends who keep imposing their opinions that plans are simply words carried away by winds.

4 years I’ve been waiting and reading and hoping. So yeah I’m anal enough to write a birth plan and, yeah, I might want a natural birth far more than anyone else, but I spent 3 years with my plans failing because of my own lack of natural ability and if having a 100% natural birth can make me forget that drugs and needles made Elvis then that’s what I’m going to try my hardest for.

~ Persephone M


70 Days And Counting: What I Learnt Today

Still having a few days of annual leave that need using by the end of March, I opted to basically take every Wednesday off so, for a month at least, I don’t have to work more than two days in a row.

My only plan for these Wednesdays off is to go swimming when there are fewer people there. At 4, 5 or 6 in the afternoon there are too many swimming groups or families with young kids or teenagers on a date. I have no idea why you’d go on a date to a swimming pool!

So today I went at 3pm, before schools let out and during a slot where kids can’t go free and it was lovely! Half the pool and only 7 people max.

And I also decided to attend a Pregnant Mums Breastfeeding Class. I have another booked for an evening session so hubby can attend, too.

So, what I learnt:

  • A day old baby has a stomach the size of a marble and it holds 6ml. A lot of mums give up breast feeding early as they think their baby isn’t eating enough when they maybe don’t realise it can only hold 6ml.
  • One of the things colostrum does is seal the newborn’s stomach. The stomach is actually perforated and without sealing those holes milk will leak out. If a baby misses the colostrum (being breast or bottle fed) they have a higher risk of GI infections and UTIs because of the milk leakage.
  • Breast fed babies stop feeding when they’re full or when the breast empties (breast and stomach are tuned to each other) which is why they have a lower rate of obesity later in life.
  • A lot of parents don’t realise how small their baby’s stomach is so, when using a bottle, when the baby stops they wind the baby and continue feeding. With winding, some milk is regurgitated creating space for more. This isn’t as common with breast fed babies.

I also saw this amazing video of the first skin to skin contact from an unmedicated baby that had immediate skin to skin. The crawling and suckling reflex was amazing. It really felt miraculous and I can only hope my labour is “normal” and I get to see my baby do that!

~ Persephone M


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