Persephone: Parent

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Baby Envy

Firstly, Elvis and his tempers have gone! He is having trouble with his naps sometimes (dropping to 1 but length depends on time of day) but whatever his problems were they seem to have settled down. I think it was just the upheaval – the move, the changes in nursery, the house guests. I am so relieved. I mean, it does make me wonder if when Robin arrives, Elvis won’t have some sort of regression with his tempers, but that’s in another few months.

I’m trying to encourage Elvis to walk more. He loves walking and running, but if I have the pushchair he just wants to climb in it. I don’t really blame him. The only thing is I haven’t bought, and really don’t intend to, a double pushchair. I will try and get a buggy board, but he needs to be walking home from nursery in January/February. And it’ll be raining and snowing which will either encourage him because it’s fun or not! Am I putting too much faith in / pressure on him?

On an amazingly positive note, Elvis let me hold a baby! Back in July he wouldn’t even let me go near one. I was his. I knew that he would have to adapt to Robin, but I hoped he wouldn’t have that immediate jealousy. Well, he let me pick up and then comfort jiggle my friend’s 6month old. I think he’s also making steps with sharing, too. There’s hope for Robin!

No, there’s hope for all of us!

~ P

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Number Two/How?????

I read a blog by Mum of Boys, and, well, oops, I didn’t plan a second, but, here are my thoughts (my initial thoughts are – What? I won’t be welcome at under-1 groups? At all? Or at my mummy friends houses? How will playdates go for Elvis? How will they go for Robin? Holy, crap.)

  1. Apparently the second pregnancy will be harder, there’ll be no lazy cuppas with other pregnant mums-to-be and you’ll be covered in food, dressing more practically
  2. Being unwelcome at Mummy groups – or your toddler and “been there done that attitude” won’t be welcome
  3. More sleep in the hospital than in the few years leading up to then
  4. You will welcome visitors, simply to entertain the toddler
  5. You will be up and on your feet much quicker, if only to get the toddler out of the house!
  6. You will not sleep when the baby sleeps, you’ll be watching toddler TV
  7. No morning lie-ins after a night of feeding
  8. There will be no time for friends and a social life, even online
  9. You’ll “miss” the developments of the second as they appear from out of nowhere whilst your attention is on the older child
  10. You will not, even for one second, regret the decision to have number 2.

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Where’s My Boy Gone?

No, I don’t mean the cliché that every other parent around me says – the: “Where’s my baby gone?” Nope, and anyone who ever told me that “you’ll miss these baby days, the new-born phase and wonder at 1 where your baby went”, news for you – never wondered that.

Neither do I mean that I’ve literally lost him. Nope, I just want to know where the happy, independent, loves nursery boy has gone.

A few weeks ago, he complained if Daddy drove past the nursery looking for a parking space, as if Daddy wasn’t taking him there. A few weeks ago, he refused to be carried up the stairs at nursery, refused to be lifted over the safety gate by a nursery worker, wanting to walk himself and straight to the toys. And then they changed his playroom and he started crying at handover.

Well, now, apparently, he kicks off entering the nursery. Or approaching it in the car. I have to give him credit for recognising the place from the car outside on the street, but why does he suddenly apparently not want to be there? Because I saw him the other day as I went to collect him, I snuck in and peered around a door frame and there he was giggling away and playing. He’s never come home with strange marks (he gets more bruises at home than there!), always has a clean bum, never got a red bum, sometimes he’s clearly slathered in bum cream. He’s not even unhappy when he sees me, or relieved.

He has started throwing a strop before we leave the nursery, but it feels more like he’s trying to stay. So, he grabs at Daddy to not leave him, and then pushes away from me and slams gates closed to stay.

I honestly have no idea what his problem is, what has caused this or how to stop it.

Is it because they changed his room and he doesn’t like it?

Is it because soon after moving room, we moved home and he’s not sure where he stands anymore? He’s only been at nursery for three months, that’s 12 weeks of a lot of changes.

He was ill the other week (I thought teething, but no tooth arrived), is this a lasting effect? Is he still a bit ill?

Is it because we don’t have a safety gate upstairs so I don’t give him freedom and independence up there at the moment? Unless we’re in a rush, I allow Elvis to control where-ish he wants to go. After a nap, for example, if he wants to play upstairs, I do some tidying until he approaches the stair gate. Is he rebelling against that lack of freedom?

Will I ever know?

~ P

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Batman and Robin

Picture1

This was how I was supposed to announce my second pregnancy, not in some rage/depressed filled way the other day! Just as the little Batman above was named Elvis as a bump and for his online persona, bump/baby 2 will be Robin – the side-kick and also a gender neutral name. Just in case.

And here is “Robin”:

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Happy weekend!

~ Persephone M

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He Wants Milk

That is, by far, my most hated sentence from the past year. I hate those three words.

They were okay at the beginning, none of us knew what Elvis wanted at any given point so he wants milk was highly likely.

For a while, as he cut down his feeds to just the three and then two, now one, I stopped hearing those words. I stopped saying those words. But then, a few nigts ago, in the middle of the night, amidst baby screaming, hubby said it again: he wants milk.

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My Breastfeeding Journey: 12 Months Later

I might post this a little after 12 months, to see how the holiday affects our feeding, but I do know that I am so proud of myself. At the beginning, I could not imagine even making it two weeks, then one month and then six months seemed doable and manageable. In fact somewhere after 4 weeks, it all just clicked and everything blurred until I realised he was six months old and BAM! Now we’re at the ultimate goal, the finishing line I really thought I’d never even see.

In those first few weeks I read the horror stories – breastfed babies who only feed to sleep, breastfed babies who drop all of their daytime feeds at 4 months and feed every 2 hours overnight, babies over one who still need to feed constantly overnight whilst you’re trying to manage work, parenting and being a person. All of those fears coupled with the pain and the fact that neither of us were naturals, meant that the idea of keeping going for a year was just a dream.

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#ThrowbackThursday: Elvis Has Left the Womb

This is a reposting of the blog I wrote 365 days ago, on day 288 of my pregnancy. I have no recollection of writing it or even what I wrote. That makes me scared to read back the other early day blogs!

Day 288 or term plus 13 according to scans and I am well and truly utterly in love with my son.

I am alone with him on a post natal ward (there is a mother with her daughter) and I am already terrified as I have no idea how to be a parent. It brought tears to my eyes.

I also know that I love him like no other, which brought tears to my eyes.

I got rather high on gas and air earlier and was convinced of so many ludicrous things but one, quite logically if you read my blog or know me, was that we wouldn’t end up a happy family of 3. I was convinced of it (high) and demanded my husband choose our son (drugged up) when neither of us was ever at risk!

But after these two really long days I can say with pride that I’m finally a mother and have made it from the trenches, across No Man’s Land, survived the Waiting Game and am now on the other side.

Elvis has left the womb, folks, and entered my family.

Love to everyone who reads this,
~ Persephone M

Here’s to the next 365 or 288 days!

Happy first NameDay, Elvis, first of your name!

~ P

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Out with the Old…

… And in with the new.

That’s how I’m seeing Elvis’ birthday and holiday to Spain; when we return there are about 5 weeks until we graduate and start nursery/work. That is 5 weeks to establish a new routine to at least guide the nursery as best as we can.

Currently our routine looks roughly like this most days –
0700 Mummy get up
0730 (unless still asleep) Elvis get up.
0930 (unless a baby group) Elvis nap until 1130
1200 (unless his nap started later) Elvis lunch
1500 Elvis nap, unless he had enough or had a late nap in the morning, then this is at 1600
1700 Elvis dinner
1815 Elvis bath, story, milk and then bed at 1900.

All I know about the 5 weeks post holiday, and graduation, is that I want the 1700 onwards routine to remain un-altered and that we’re all going to have to get up at 0630. Presumably I will have to add one or two snack times in if breakfast is earlier and his naps may simply time shift.

Or they may not; that’s what the 5 weeks prep are.

I’ve never fully dictated Elvis’ schedule before, not how I will dictate and change his waking time and it is a little scary!
~ P

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Goodbye Group!

With the countdown to Elvis’ first birthday and holiday treat well underway, we have just said goodbye to our first group. Age-wise we could still attend, but after the chaos is over, we’re going to start preparing for Nursery and finding a new routine. That new routine might mean the end of some of our current baby groups.

Which isn’t a problem; lots of Elvis’ baby friends will stop going as their mummies graduate and return to work. And today, all the little ones are so tiny! I swear that Elvis was never that small!

It’s a bit silly because there are other groups at the same place and the mummies I’ve made friends with will still be contactable, I guess it’s the first major change that I have to make in preparation of graduating. These groups were the only thing that got me through months 2 to 5, the only thing that kept me sane.

Can’t I just stay home forever?

~ P

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School Girl Mentality

Only a few times over the past year have I felt awkward at baby groups or around baby mummies. It’s only been a few times where I’ve felt as if I’m back at school with the popular girls picking on the not so popular, cliques forming all around me and opinions being voiced without being thought through.  On even fewer occasions it has brought me to tears.

The question is though, is it them acting like school girls or is me and how I interpret others’ actions?

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