Persephone: Parent

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Bed Sharing: The Next Step

After a bad night’s sleep that was purely all me, E is still pretty much fine overnight, I decided that this bed sharing needs to stop.

I need some time without him, some time to be me, some time with my husband and some time where I can physically fully relax. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I figured I’d get less sleep. I assumed he’d wake up more, feed more.
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Routine, Is That You?

Okay, I know it’s early days. In fact it’s only the second day of this… pattern, perhaps that’s a better word. And I am no way taking it as the new regime, the future forever. In fact with daddy due to be at home for the weekend it’ll probably be over tomorrow!


This is the second day of feed, play, nap!

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Hungry or Not

I’ve only really noticed this over the past few days and thought it was just because it was the weekend, but it’s happened today. I don’t know when E’s hungry.

I do over night. He gets squirmy, I wake up and feed him. 3-4 hours later repeat!

During the day it’s a different deal.

I don’t know!
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Three Times A Baby

I found an amazing new blog yesterday, I can’t remember the name or link, but it should be in my blog roll and it’s written by a mum about ten weeks ahead of Elvis and I. Some of the posts are written from the pov of her daughter, these are so funny.

I haven’t gone all the way back on her blog, but I’ve read a few to learn that they had fertility issues, too and she hasn’t found this mothering malarkey the easiest thing in the early days. Something in one of her blogs reminded me how long sleeping through the night officially is.

It’s 5 hours.

Of course just because baby sleeps 5 it by no way means that the parents do.

Okay I found the link it’s What Viola Did Next. Anyway so officially sleeping through is baby sleeping 5 hours. Is that from feed to feed? Take last night, Elvis fed at 8pm and was asleep by 9pm. He then woke up at half 2 for a 20 minute feed and then half 4 for a 20 minute feed before waking up at just before 7.

I reckon that he only woke up twice during the night and then at 7. That’s 3 feeds after a 6.5 hour sleep if you accept that 8 until 2.30 was sleep. It has now dawned on me that I could attempt to make his 6 hours occur more at night. I could try and wake him or delay a feed until 10pm where he could sleep until 5am.

I’m not sure I should try this yet. Just this past week, the heat and increased daylight has upset Elvis going to bed, sometimes reaching gone 9. I can’t remember how long he then slept for. Often if he feeds at 4am he can then stay awake a few hours as it’s daylight already. And then he often (I join him most days) has an amazing nap from 8 or 9am until midday!

I’d love him to stay up until 10pm, both of us seeing more of Daddy, and sleep until 5, have a feed and wake up at 8 or 9. But would I lose the few hours I get in the morning? Could I shift them to the early evening? Would the summer heat and light prevent it?

I’ve tried regulating the feeds in the early evening to try and get the 8pm just a bit later, but I’m not sure it did much. Elvis isn’t fully 8 weeks old yet, there’s time to try and shift him to a better bedtime. I am going to start a bedtime routine though. Any ideas from you other bloggers? Any handy tips? Should I wait a bit longer? Include a massage and bath every night or alternate? When should I start using bath lotions and soap?

Let me know what worked for your little ones!

~ Persephone M


Dusk til Dawn

During the first few weeks of Elvis’ life I strongly remembering blogging (and I remember the actual time) that my most hated time of day was during the night. It was during those dark hours that everything seemed impossible, that I would be at my most tired and unable to last however long and however frequent he was feeding.

That passed a while ago, along withe constant breast and nipple tenderness that made showering painful, and now I have a new worst time of day – dusk. 8-9pm.

Why? For some of the same reasons.
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Don’t Force It

So the other night I wrote about how I double-boobed Elvis after his 4hr stint in bed in the hope of him lasting a 2nd 4hrs during the night.

I also wrote about how it didn’t work!

Well, yesterday I suffered with a son who chose to wake up at 0630 and then refused to nap until 11am. And I was exhausted. He, in fact only had 3hrs between 0630 and 2030. So I, too, only had 3hrs.

I ended up in floods of tears on the phonevto the bank because they set up Elvis’ account wrong, can’t fix it over the phone and then transferred me to the wrong bloody branch. Well Elvis was screaming, I couldn’t hear the woman on the phone and I wanted a nap. So I burst into tears.

And it sent Elvis to sleep. Nice.

Anyway after a 14 hour day, 3 of which napping, we went to bed at 2030 and he started being a bit noisy after an hour in his moses which I was not in the right state to deal with so I kicked hubby out and kept Elvis on my tummy despite the heat.

The next thing I know is it’s been 5hrs since his last feed as he starts to root and I wake up. I’m not sure if it’s the heat, the co-sleeping ot just his tummy but 5 hours baby!

~ Persephone M

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I know at not even 4 weeks old there is no chance of forcing a routine onto Elvis, but I can try and work with his. And it had been working during last week.

2300 – usually the last feed and then sleep.
0100/0200 – first wake up. More likely to be 0200, making a 4hr gap between feeds.
0400/0500 – morning! This would be a 3hr gap leading on to hourly feeds so would hope for the 5am!

0700/0800 – first nap. In bed, both of us!
0900/100 – end of nap and immediate feed. Sometimes nap would end because he woke up or me.
1200-1400 – time to be out of the house. Elvis napping optional.
1500/1600 – 1700/1800 – naptime in bed for both of us.
In between these naps and trip out, it’s mainly feeding with occasional short naps but nothing longer than an hour. Before the first and after the 2nd bed naps, feeding has been constant or at least hourly.

Until last night when Elvis fed at 2000 and went to sleep! He stirred when I moved him upstairs (I’d not thought he’d go to sleep that early) but I settled him. He awoke at 0000 for food, then 0230 and then 0500. Colour me confused. He never does 2 long sessions overnight. And by long I mean 2+ hours as he only does them during the day when we’re in bed or he’s in a pushchair.

Now I have no idea if his daytime routine will be the same and I’d made plans around his desired timetable. Is this just a sign of his tummy getting bigger? Or of him trying to screw with me?

~ Persephone M


Double the Trouble, Not the Gain

Normally I only have one true nighttime feed at about 0100 or 0200. I don’t count the 2300 or 0500 as night. Even when the 0500 slips earlier to 0400 it’s still not night. Maybe because of the light pouring into the house or maybe because the feeds then start to be hourly-ish.

Anyway, after his 2200 feed (but 2300 sleep), Elvis woke up at 0200 and I decided to give him a double feed. Usually I give a single feed overnight and he’d go from 0200 to 0500; the feed plus winding and a cuddle would take 40 minutes. So I thought perhaps doing a double feed would get me an extra hour – he had just gone 5hours between feeds, could I score a 4 hour rather than 3?


The double feed took an extra 40minutes and got Elvis waking up at the same time as having a single. So that was a waste of time. I’m going back to single feeds and not waking him on purpose to try a second. Clearly it doesn’t help him sleep longer and I got less sleep. Maybe at this 5am one it would work, but I lost enough sleep experimenting tonight.

~ Persephone M

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Baby Firsts: Bathtime and Nails

Before anyone judges, I have been cleaning Elvis, he’s just spent almost 4 weeks of his life without having an actual bath. We did give him a half bath when he urinated all over himself, but tonight we put him in his actual baby bath.

Whilst he was still sitting on his bargain baby bather, we sprinkled him with water and wiped him over – hubby enjoyed sprinkling water over Elvis’ head – Elvis did wee. Luckily the bather was in the bath. It was quite difficult leaning over the bath so next time I might put the baby bath on the floor once it has water in it.

Then I put Elvis in the baby bath, one arm securely(ish) under his neck/shoulders. And he didn’t cry or scream or seem bothered at all. I think it bodes well for the future. After taking him out of the bath, I wrapped him in a hooded towel and cuddled whilst drying him.

I was worried that he’d get cold out of the bath, but he seemed okay. There’s so much constant emphasis on temperature – of the bath water, of the bathroom, of every room in the house, of when in the car, in the pushchair. It becomes so difficult – 20degrees at night is cold to me!

Although I won’t then take him to the nursery to get dressed – what if he wees on route? Nothing major went wrong; I didn’t drop him, he didn’t drown and he didn’t cry at all! But I still want daddy home when I next give him a bath. Two pairs of hands and all.

Earlier today, before the bath, we finally cut Elvis’ nails. Or daddy the superhero did! Waiting until he was sleep-feeding, daddy then used the baby nail clippers as we both held various parts of Elvis’ hands and arms. Now he can’t scratch me anymore!

And I think it’s definitely a daddy job from now on. Plus it was made far easier today by the fact that all Elvis has done all day is feed. I think it’s because it’s the weekend and any sense of routine that Elvis had created Monday to Friday is gone. I’m hoping it comes back next week and then I’ll simply force it to be stuck to over the weekend in future.

Unless his constant desire to feed is another bloody growth spurt. He did go to bed okay at 2300 and has only just awoken for his next feed at 0200 so at least his cluster day/evening didn’t become night, too.

I’m not sure when we’ll give him another full bath, but I still don’t think there’s any point in using it as part of a bedtime routine. Not when his current bedtime routine is feed from 6pm with a change of clothes and into sleeping bag at 9pm and stopping feeding somewhere before 11pm. I’m not bathing him at 6 or 9 every night.

Elvis is still the one dictating when he feeds and sleeps, nothing else should be timetabled for him. Not yet.

~ Persephone M


What A Let-Down

I truly and honestly cannot believe that I went a night and day without crying. Things really have gotten better in Elvis’ short life so far. I honestly thought they wouldn’t this quickly. Without even glancing back at all my midnight blogs, I know how awful I felt, how hopeless it all felt and how there really was no end in sight.

Perhaps because of my years trying to conceive and then having fertility treatment in order to get Elvis, I’m so used to the failure, to having no hope and there being no light at the end of the tunnel, that it becomes the default setting. Once you’ve been in the trenches of fertility it’s easy to make new trenches of anything.

But at just 3 and a half weeks old there is light, I can see it and everyday it gets a bit brighter. There are still going to be hiccups, but I persevered and we all survived.

It’s also remarkable how different day and night are already. Or how I awoke straight away for Elvis’ 3am feed.

The one thing I’m not liking about the nighttime feed is my let-down. It hasn’t happened during the day and can’t purely be a blood sugar thing, but I go incredibly light-headed and feel faint. It’s a good thing I don’t stand up to feed! As I said it can’t purely be blood sugar as before starting the feed I’ve always got up and changed the nappy; there’s no dizziness then. Oddly that let-down doesn’t come with the coughing and spluttering that other let-downs do.

Other than that, I think we may have cracked the nighttimes and the days and evenings aren’t too bad anymore. We just need to work on his 5am feed that starts his day. I really don’t need to see 5, 6 and 7am every day!

~ Persephone M

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