Persephone: Parent

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Three Times A Baby

I found an amazing new blog yesterday, I can’t remember the name or link, but it should be in my blog roll and it’s written by a mum about ten weeks ahead of Elvis and I. Some of the posts are written from the pov of her daughter, these are so funny.

I haven’t gone all the way back on her blog, but I’ve read a few to learn that they had fertility issues, too and she hasn’t found this mothering malarkey the easiest thing in the early days. Something in one of her blogs reminded me how long sleeping through the night officially is.

It’s 5 hours.

Of course just because baby sleeps 5 it by no way means that the parents do.

Okay I found the link it’s What Viola Did Next. Anyway so officially sleeping through is baby sleeping 5 hours. Is that from feed to feed? Take last night, Elvis fed at 8pm and was asleep by 9pm. He then woke up at half 2 for a 20 minute feed and then half 4 for a 20 minute feed before waking up at just before 7.

I reckon that he only woke up twice during the night and then at 7. That’s 3 feeds after a 6.5 hour sleep if you accept that 8 until 2.30 was sleep. It has now dawned on me that I could attempt to make his 6 hours occur more at night. I could try and wake him or delay a feed until 10pm where he could sleep until 5am.

I’m not sure I should try this yet. Just this past week, the heat and increased daylight has upset Elvis going to bed, sometimes reaching gone 9. I can’t remember how long he then slept for. Often if he feeds at 4am he can then stay awake a few hours as it’s daylight already. And then he often (I join him most days) has an amazing nap from 8 or 9am until midday!

I’d love him to stay up until 10pm, both of us seeing more of Daddy, and sleep until 5, have a feed and wake up at 8 or 9. But would I lose the few hours I get in the morning? Could I shift them to the early evening? Would the summer heat and light prevent it?

I’ve tried regulating the feeds in the early evening to try and get the 8pm just a bit later, but I’m not sure it did much. Elvis isn’t fully 8 weeks old yet, there’s time to try and shift him to a better bedtime. I am going to start a bedtime routine though. Any ideas from you other bloggers? Any handy tips? Should I wait a bit longer? Include a massage and bath every night or alternate? When should I start using bath lotions and soap?

Let me know what worked for your little ones!

~ Persephone M

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Damn Fucking Insomnia

I’d finally made plans for today for both of us. I was going to have lunch with a friend after attending a Sure Start Centre that’s due to close but has far nicer people than the other centres I’ve attended.

Well Elvis took ages to go to sleep last night. I stayed calm. By 11 he was asleep. I wasn’t, I stayed calm. At 3 he started to wake up, I was still wide awake and calm. I called hubby up at 4 hoping his presence would calm me. It did and I fell asleep to be awoken at 5 by a hungry son.

Now, after a bit of sleep, I feel worse. I’ve moved to the sofa for his feed, hoping he falls asleep and the TV helps me to sleep. If we both sleep then I will consider attending the center in the hopes that Elvis stays awake there.

Then we can be home by lunch and go back to sleep. I can manage nights awake, but not the day after when I wanted to do things for us. Especially when, as it wasn’t him that kept me awake, he might not want to sleep today.

Help!

~ Persephone M

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Dusk til Dawn

During the first few weeks of Elvis’ life I strongly remembering blogging (and I remember the actual time) that my most hated time of day was during the night. It was during those dark hours that everything seemed impossible, that I would be at my most tired and unable to last however long and however frequent he was feeding.

That passed a while ago, along withe constant breast and nipple tenderness that made showering painful, and now I have a new worst time of day – dusk. 8-9pm.

Why? For some of the same reasons.
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Noticing the Small Things

Firstly, I am loving my new tablet, the keys are bigger when I’m blogging so there should be fewer typos and I don’t keep missing the ‘space’ bar.

The other day I bought a second cot mobile, this one from a nearby second hand shop. Yes, I know he doesn’t need two. No, I’m not going sleep deprived crazy. I wanted one that isn’t wind up and that also reaches over the changing table. And that’s what I got.
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Mummy Moment: Sleep!

Ok this Mummy Moment doesn’t follow all the rules, but it’s an amazing one. Last night Elvis fell asleep at 1900 and an hour later we decided he was sleeping solidly so I went to bed. I got up at 11am!
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Healing Sleep

I’m by no means saying that everything’s resolved, but I’ve been in bed for 12 hours and Elvis has actually slept.

And so have I!

Maximum of 7 hours in those 12 and it’s probably nearer 5 or 6, but it’s sleep. Hubby went to work 3 hours ago with orders to stay in bed all day apart from a few hours over lunch.

To avoid only eating cereal and sandwiches I’ve been and bought ready meals. I’m not the kind to eat ready meals (except frozen pizza if that counts). We don’t even use jar sauces and make everything from scratch. None of us have time for cooking now so jars and ready meals it is for now.

I’m not sure if this is his growth spurt; he was still fussy, screaming at my boobs last night, but he’s at least had some sleep since then. And he’s only slept on me but I haven’t tried putting him down as I’ve slept each time, too.

I could easily just stay up – I’m no longer exhausted – but after lunch I’ll head back to bed.

I hope this has been the growth spurt, but his feeding hasn’t been constant so I really don’t know.

~ Persephone M

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Worry Lines

My son, despite being less than 5 weeks old still, has this amazingly cute forehead. When he’s just lying there, it’s just a normal forehead, but when he stretches or lazily unattaches sleepy and full, it is the cutest thing he does. It’s even cuter than his smile.

It wrinkles with these 4 lines and his eyebrows raise as his whole entire face kinda stretches. His forehead worry lines are the cutest thing ever, but I’m the only one who ever really sees it because no-one looks that closely when Elvis is feeding. Obviously.

His are cute.

However, my own worry lines must have got worse since he’s been born!

We tried the fan in the bedroom last night. Epic Fail! Obviously it was happily making noise and either Elvis wasn’t being a restless sleeper or the fan was doing its job. Except this meant that I couldn’t hear his breathing. Well, duh, isn’t that the point? But I was going to worry so off went the fan and it was back to Elvis sleeping on me.

Now it’s either his new natural rythym, being cooler or co-sharing, but he fed at 8pm, settled to sleep by 9pm and then woke up at 2am, partially because I was worried and woke him up to feed. It’s the longest he’s done and my boobs were so engorged I tried him on the 2nd, which he spat back up. Then he didn’t wake for another feed for another 4hrs.

Don’t get me wrong I feel lovely and rested today. I’ve been out leisurely shopping, washed up, put washing on (the 2nd boob spit up was all over my bedsheet and pyjamas), changed duvet cases. But I’m now worried that he might not be eating enough during the day.

I have no evidence to say he isn’t. Wet and dirty nappies – yep. Feeding 6-8 times in 24 hours – yep, well he’s on his 5th and we’re just over half way through the day. Plus this feed has lasted an hour and he is actively feeding!

I’m probably worrying over nothing, like the breathing, but I might go get him weighed Monday just to check he’s still gaining!

It’s my job, right, to worry?

My selfish moment of the day? Wanting half an hour dozing in my bed without Elvis and with hubby. Did I get it? No. Oh well, I got over it.

~ Persephone M

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Noisy Nights

After a second early night (go Elvis!) I’m shattered because it’s also the second night of increased noise from the littlest member of my family.

Elvis spends his night sleeps grunting, whimpering, crying and choking, all the time keeping me awake. I have no real idea what the hell to do about it. So after him falling asleep at 2000, I had to do a 2300 feed due to his noise, then at 0150. By this point I swear I was awake the whole time.

At 0200, mid feed, I kicked hubby out of bed, set myself up in the middle of the double and Elvis has quietly slept on my chest until the 0500 feed. I still feel shattered. And starving. But I’ve had some sleep.

I’m strongly considering putting him into his cot in the nursery or co-sleeping all night with hubby on the sofa because he is so loud. From forums I gather it stops within 3 months, but as a month old today there is no way I can survive another 2 like last night.

Help!

~ Persephone M

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Baby Bargains

After staying in bed with Elvis until about 11 this morning, I needed to pop to the shops for bread and decided to visit the bank and a second hand baby shop nearby. Now normally Elvis will fall straight asleep in his pram.

That is for anyone other than me.

Until today where he was the perfect sleeping baby as I bought bread, opened a bank account for him and raided the bags of clothes in the 2nd hand shop.

After the nap around the shops, I  ate my lunch as Elvis had his and by 4pm I decided I needed a nap so took us both up to bed where hubby found us almost 3 hours later. For a short while Elvis was calm enough in his little chair that I actually ate a meal at the kitchen table and not over him!

He fed all evening from around 8pm until I actually managed to soothe him and settle him to sleep without feeding. Until he spat up and decided he wanted supper.

I know there’s still time, but I haven’t cried yet today and I think it’s been at least 24hours since my last cry. The soreness is a lot less – back and nipples. I’m also far less tired, even with his increased naps today.

There’s a bit of worry concerning his spitting up and coughing/spluttering during my letdown, but those are worries and not frustrations.

Plus I got some amazing bargains today. At least 6 new long sleeved vests (for sleeping in), 3 baby grows and 9 sleep suits all for 0-3 months and all for under £7! And, although we have a baby carrier that daddy loves, I wanted one that I can feed in. Asking in the 2nd hand shop and they had a cream coloured Babasling for less than half rrp and just in that day.

They normally only sell them on their ebay shop, but I asked at the exact right time. Popped it in the wash and it’s drying now so hopefully Elvis and I can try it tomorrow.

Good naps, good purchases, no real aching pain and no tears, what else could I ask for?

~ Persephone M

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Daddy Details

As I sit here feeding Elvis (after a 10pm bedtime feed, 1am midnight feed and now 4am – loving this boy at nighttimes!) I can’t help but watch both of my boys sleep. Last night, rather randomly, hubby laid there fast asleep, smiled, laughed out loud and then rolled over still smiling. It was an amazingly refreshing relaxed smile, too.

Not that either of us know why he was smiling.

I feel bad for him sometimes, working as long as he does. Especially as I now sleep in to catch up. And because Elvis tends to simply feed all evening long. Daddy can’t really interact with a feeding baby. Oh and not that he cluster fed last night. No, there was a bit of hysterical screaming as he was overly tired and I did have a few tears about how my body was aching, but Elvis settled before 11pm and my tears lasted only a few minutes.

I think for the past couple of nights my tears have got less because I’m sleeping more and my body’s getting used to the strains and aches.

Meanwhile, I get to watch both of my boys sleeping and at their most innocent. But hubby misses all of that. He doesn’t get to see all of the weird faces Elvis pulls as he relaxes. Or all the random noises that make our son sound like a cat. No, instead hubby gets home from work, cooks dinner, lets me shower, watches one thing on TV with me and then we all go up to bed.

He does that to help me out as the evenings are still the most stressful. After the whole day alone with Elvis and then the high maintainence evenings, I wouldn’t cope without hubby sitting beside me. Hubby also gets a broken night’s sleep without nap chances so as soon as Elvis finally settles that first time, hubby’s asleep and I get to listen to them both.

I’m now really looking forward to this weekend – it’s the only time hubby really gets. And I might get a break!

And now for the super soppy comment, ever since Elvis has arrived, I’ve never loved my hubby more. Even if he lies there snoring as I see to his son’s needs!

~ Persephone M

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