Persephone: Parent

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6 Months of Sleeping With Your Baby?

I had trouble sleeping last night after reading an article that popped up on my news feed. In fact when I got up this morning, leaving my 13 week old baby alone in our bedroom, I got really panicky. It isn’t the article itself (which tells the sad story of a 7 week old who died in their co-sleeping crib when left alone) it was more a comment someone put on facebook when the article was shared.

Why was  a 7 week old left alone to nap? When guidance is all naps and sleeping to be in the same room as a parent?

The comment was probably same room as mum because I feel there’s a huge bias on the parenting pages that it’s all about the mum. Anyway, is it really practical and possible to always have your sleeping baby with you for 6 months?

With Elvis, he was younger than six months when he moved into his own room, younger than 6 months when we started to emphasise that the cot was for sleeping and not playing. But we lived in a small house. Could it have been possible? 6 months of all sleeping in the same room?

How about when it’s your second child?

Every morning I leave Robin alone in her Moses basket as I get up and see to Elvis. If she cries, someone goes to check on her except on a Friday when I’m alone with him and he’s having breakfast.

Please do not get me wrong here, I completely understand why babies should sleep near their parents for as long as possible, but can it be done? 100% of the time?

Robin sleeps in her Moses in her cot right next to me overnight. On nights where I can’t sleep, I go in another room but Daddy stays near her – I could not leave her alone at night. Not yet. Her naps are in the pushchair or, if rocked, put down in the Moses in the lounge. Her pushchair is kept in the hall or kitchen, all doors open if she’s asleep. Am I going to wheel the pushchair into the lounge making the carpet dirty? Should I sit on the stairs next to her pram? Should I keep her near Elvis who’ll wake her? Take her out to the garden in the heat whilst I play with Elvis?

Do parents for at least 6 months keep their sleeping babies nearby in the same room?

Naps and night times?

Have you?

~ P

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Sleeping Like A Baby

My baby is the noisiest sleeper ever. And I thought Elvis was a noisy sleepy baby. Right now Robin is lying on me as we rock in the nursing chair making her tired noise. She’s bloody loud. She’s also sucking or chewing her finger. The moment it comes out more noise!

The past two nights have featured a lot of snuffling, grunting, noise in general. The past two days have featured a problem with deep sleep napping on me or daddy. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m only awake today as she slept on my arm for 4 hours last night. Due to cosleeping she went 7 hours between feeds and only woke for a feed at 4am because I shifted her into her cot.

I think she has a cold. I hope she doesn’t want to cosleep all the time, it causes all manner of aches and pains in me.

So I can either get no sleep as she grunts away, sleep in the spare bed or cosleep.

Meanwhile, my new decision to get off the sofa and go walking on a morning means she sleeps a lot better in her pushchair but I rarely put her down for other naps at home. I guess I’m worried that she’s losing her ability to sleep alone – she’s not getting into a deep enough sleep unless on me or in a pushchair.

And she still won’t take a dummy.

But, hey, we’re 11 weeks in. Is this a sleep regression?

~ P

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The Unknown

I just want someone to be able to tell me that Robin will be just like Elvis. She’s 7 weeks old, Elvis was about 16 weeks old when he stopped needing any over night feeds and he never had them after then. Are we 9 weeks away from Robin being the same?

Are we closer?

Are we further?

I get insomnia. When I wake for a night feed, despite Robin being by my side in a co-sleeper cot, I wake up fully. Despite me relaxing during the feed, drifting off to sleep a bit, too, I wake up when I’m carefully putting Robin down. Then her snuffles keep me awake, questioning if it’s her not fully asleep or just settling herself back down.

It’s tough.

The past two nights I’ve tried side lying to feed. The first night was amazing but did end up with far more co-sleeping which makes me achey. Last night, either due to insomnia or fearing full relaxtion, I didn’t sleep as well.

Oh, and she’s spent the past two nights on a 3 hour routine rather than 4-5.

Is it just a few day phase? Is it because she feeds less when lying down, nursing more sitting up? Do I drift off and pull away when we’re lying down?

And I don’t want her to get used to sleeping right by my side.

If I’m going to wake up fully no matter which position I may as well go for the one that leads to me being more comfortable.

It still leaves me with the unknown – 9 weeks to go? Or more? Or less?

~ P

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Jealousy as Green as Any Monster

Today marks the second successful abandoning of Elvis at Nanny’s. This time it was so I could randomly go and visit a friend with her newborn. And by successful, I mean he napped! And he was still asleep when I got back.

As he lay upstairs sleeping, my mum, Nanny, said “And all you used to do was 20 minutes each day!” Yep, Nanny sounded rather jealous that I, apparently, refused to nap for her!

Clearly Elvis doesn’t just look like Daddy, he sleeps like him, too!

“And I had to sneak around so you couldn’t see me. Or hear me.”

Cue later on today when I’d taken E home and he was having his second nap, it was approaching tea time, his dinner was cooked, the bathroom cleaned and so I hoovered the upstairs, right up to his door. Did he wake up? Nope.

Again, just like his father who can sleep through anything, not me who wakes at the slightest breath from my hubby!

This kid is nothing like me. And, yeah, whilst Nanny might be jealous of my sleepy baby, I’m kind of jealous that my son is nothing like me at all.

~ P

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Mummy Meltdown and Bawling Babies

Okay it was a bawling Mummy, too!

Elvis has recently kept up his 12 hours of sleep at night, self settling 99% of the time and he’s started having 3 naps of well over an hour. We’re talking maybe 5 hours a day. And he absolutely loves his cot. He can be screaming, whiny, tired boy until he’s left alone in his cot. Then you can get up to 30minutes of happy babble until he falls asleep.

Except he has now decided he won’t sleep anywhere else. His pushchair. Nanny’s. Nowhere. And as he stands in his cot at Nanny’s screaming, I feel like crap.

So I’ve decided, I’m going to take him to Nanny’s and go back 4 hours later. If he gets tired and won’t nap, I won’t be crying, too. I just need to decide on the rules for her. No co-sleeping on the sofa. When E lets us co-sleep (he refused last week because he really loves his cot) I do it safely, I’ve done the research. I’m not sure if I should tell her to not bring lunch forward; I never have.

He needs to be able to sleep elsewhere, right? He used to be able to. Or could this just be a phase?

~ P

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