Persephone: Parent

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Rolling, Rolling, Rolling…

Less than three weeks ago, I can clearly remember the beginnings of my fear, or apprehension that Elvis was never going to learn to roll over. It just never seemed on his mind. After learning to sit unaided at 4 months, lying down was a position that he just never really wanted to be in. It was also just after he turned 4 months and learnt to sit that we moved him into his cot, giving him far more freedom to move.

And of course, he would be put down on his back on his playmat for short periods, he still showed no signs of rolling!

I was starting to worry (only because everything tells you when each baby should learn to do everything).

Then he suddenly did it! I was so immensely excited.

Now, I hate that he can roll!

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Driving Away in A Big Black Cab

Okay so actually the taxi wasn’t black.

It wasn’t a big taxi cab either, just a regular taxi. And it did drive me away last night.

At 10pm, after Elvis’ dream feed, I called a taxi and left.

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Mummy Update

Having a quick look at the last posts before I vanished from the blogosphere, we were just starting to stop our bedsharing habit.

I have to admit that the changes in every part of our lives since the beginning of August are so immense that I wish I’d continued blogging over the past 3 months. Hopefully I have been keeping my diary up to date so I have a record of everything!
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Monthly Update: Month 5

Weight: 18lb 8.

Bedtime: Same as last month, 1900 for him, 2130 for me after his dreamfeed. The bedtime routine is now set – bathtime, feed, reading, bed. But sleep still needs 20-30 minutes of settling and replacing of the dummy.

Naps/Length: 3 naps of half an hour, maybe one might be an hour. Because of the nights getting darker, Elvis has stopped taking that final nap. It’s a stretch getting him to bedtime.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: approximately 6 with one still being in the early hours of the morning (6am-ish).

Favourite toy/objects: Rattles and playgyms. He seems bored of his mobile now. He loves his Mickey Mouse, too!

Clothing age: 6-9 month. But he can still wear  3-6 month tops!

Foot length: 10cm.

Milestones: Elvis can roll! And bum shuffle! He’s on the move. Slowly! As a mummy milestone, my periods have come back. Boo!

My swimming ability: 950m, it’s slowly increasing.

What I’m reading: Still on a slow re-read of Game of Thrones.

New Foods: N/A

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Monthly Update: Month 4

Weight: 17lb 7. Pretty sure he’s doubled his birth weight now! Woo!

Bedtime: He now goes to bed at 7pm in his cot! We did the big move! My bedtime is now 2130 after dreamfeeding Elvis. He still stirs overnight and the cot is further away than the Moses basket ever was, but it’s manageable. We try our hardest to not bring him into bed, so I no longer feel completely attached to him!

Naps/Length: 4 at half an hour. His final nap is at about 5, that’s how we delayed his bedtime back to 7 slightly so that Daddy can actually see his son! The naps are now also in the cot. All sleep can take about half an hour of settling, being on hand to replace his dummy. Sometimes I hate that thing!

Number of feeds in 24hrs: Approximately 6. He can now go 9 hours overnight, he still stirs, but he doesn’t need feeding so I certainly don’t get 9 hours!

Favourite toy/objects: He loves rattles. To chew on mainly, not rattle!

Clothing age: 3-6 months still.

Foot length: 10cm

Milestones: Elvis can sit up unaided. Still no signs of rolling, but he can sit so who cares!

My swimming ability: 900m.

What I’m reading: Still on a slow re-read of Game of Thrones.

New Foods: N/A

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Monthly Update: Month 3

Weight: 16lb, that’s over a pound since last time! But he hasn’t quite doubled his birth weight yet.

Bedtime: Elvis has started going to bed at 1800, me at 2000. He’s in his moses basket in our bedroom for the first part of the night, then he ends up in bed with both of us (Daddy’s not on the sofa!). I was sick of the co-sleeping and it had to stop. I now have a few hours to myself on an evening. What a luxury!

Naps/Length: He’s started having proper naps, he has about 3 of half an hour. In his Moses, not on me and with a dummy, not from a feed. There is a definite routine starting to form now.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: approximately 7. He can go 6 hours overnight now!

Favourite toy/objects: Same as last time, his playgym and mobile. He does also like some of his rattles and teethers a lot. He also likes batting at his normal playgym, giving me time to have a quick wee!

Clothing age: Still in 3-6 months.

Foot length: 9.8cm.

Milestones: No significant other than sleeping on his own!

My swimming ability: 700m, in perspective, when I started regular swimming at about 24 weeks pregnant, I could manage 400m and when I stopped swimming at about 38weeks I could do 600m.

What I’m reading: Slowly on my first re-read of Game of Thrones.

New Foods: N/A

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Breastfeeding: Two months in

There’s still no exact pattern, no certain routine, but there are trends 2 months in. I can’t even fully remember the beginning, except that I needed the light on and that I needed to stay awake during feeds. I do remember a number of evenings where E was attached all evening!

All I can say is check the earlier blogs because my rose tinted, sleep foggy glasses have blurred it all. I do want to note down how an average breastfeeding day goes now, partially for my own memory.
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Month Update: Month 2

Weight: 14lb 9

Bedtime: Elvis’ at 1930, mine around 2000! But we’re still bed-sharing with Daddy on the sofa!

Naps/Length: Hit and miss – he’s still just kinda always sleeping.

Number of feeds in 24hrs: approximately 8. He can manage 5 hours overnight without a feed.

Favourite toy/objects: Loves his playgym at Nanny’s. Oh, and his cot mobile can entertain him for a full 20 minutes whilst I get a quick rest on the bed!

Clothing age: Already in 3-6 month! Holy Hell!

Foot length: 8.8cm.

Milestones: Aiming with his hands and getting much, much better at tummy time and holding his head, although he could do both of these last month.

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Always Questioning Ourselves

I’ve always had this random insomnia where I spend the night completely unable to sleep. No matter how tired, if it’s an insomnia night I will not sleep. For quite a while it would be Sunday night’s – maybe it was work anxiety I hear you ask. Well, I work in a school all year around and only had the insomnia on term time Sundays. When it happened two nights ago (after a night of bad sleep from Elvis coughing and spluttering) I reached the end of my tether. It was so bad, I couldn’t even nap during the day. Sleep was truly alluding me.

So last night my husband and I decided that I really really needed sleep. I thought this would be accomplished by husband coming back into bed – he’s been out as part of the bed sharing, however, I needed his breathing. Elvis, naturally breathes too fast and in my sleepless state I was trying to match my breathing to his therefore having hubby in bed my breathing should become calm and steady. Because it’s suggested that bed sharing should only have one parent in the bed, or a bigger bed hubby declares, we decided to put Elvis in his big boy cot in his nursery against the guidance of sharing rooms for the first six months.

Elvis was never going to last 6 months in his Moses basket because at nearly 8 weeks he’s too big! Well he lasted in there for about an hour after the first mid-night feed when he started making loads of grunty noises that I couldn’t sleep through despite him being in another room. Into bed with us he came because I still needed hubby’s breathing and I put Elvis on his side to secure him to me as we slept with me spooning him on the outer side of the bed.

Through all of this I kept questioning myself. I even broke down hysterically to declare that I was an awful mother.

And why am I an awful mother?

For one, I didn’t play or interact with Elvis all day because I was so tired.

Reason two is that I tried/managed to put a seven week old baby in a separate room.

Number three is that then I bed-shared against medical advice.

Fourth reason is I bed-shared with a duvet partially on me, my baby nearest the edge of the bed and with my baby on his side.

All these things are what I need to do to cope, but it doesn’t stop me questioning it all and my ability to parent. Is it just something that I do, or is it a general parent issue – comparing yourself to others and the ideal?

I feel like I’m not as good a parent as the next who can do everything by the book simply because I’m not following the guidance. In my eyes it somehow makes me less of a person and parent because I need to go off script. Do other mums who put their young babies in the nursery, bed share or sofa sleep do the same? Do you feel imperfect for not following the guidelines and upset at those who can so easily?

Do those perfect mums question themselves just as much? Do they question themselves over other things? Or do they have less energy to interact, to resume normal life as quickly? Do they wonder or feel left out because they don’t know how their baby breathes all night long, because they can’t get to their baby the second he announces he’s hungry?

When I had Elvis sleeping on my tummy his arms would fall around my waist, he was hugging me at five weeks old. He sleeps better and longer in bed with me. And last night as he slept on his side spooned up against me he felt like a real child and not just a baby. That last part makes sense to me.

Maybe medically or professionally I’m imperfect, but to Elvis I’m not no matter how many rules or guidelines I break. That probably won’t stop me questioning myself. I’m pretty sure that nothing will ever stop that.

~ Persephone M

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Mummy Moment: Times Two

Elvis is thoroughly confusing! I’m sure all babies are. Last week he barely wanted to sleep, could not be put down and fed regularly at 3 or more hours. Then it seemed that he was alternating days between sleeping lots and being awake.

Now he’s on his second day of sleeping a lot.

Something’s clearly been changing overnight – my boobs proove that!
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