Persephone: Parent

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Operation Yummy Mummy: Only 0.3kg to go!!!

Whoop whoop! So last week, I had apparently lost no weight, but I didn’t let that get me down as I was happier within myself. But something stirred myself to do a mid-week weigh (I try to only weigh once a week to stop from becoming obsessive) and I had lost weight! With my 0.4kg drop today, I am now only 0.3kg from my first weight goal! I am so excited. I’ve never been good at losing weight so I am finding this a real accomplishment. During some of my decluttering acts, I have been looking through my old photos as I explained the other day and I seem to have pinpointed my weight gain. Besides pregnancies of course! In March 2012, I had a laparoscopy to check out why I wasn’t conceiving, just to see if there was an issue with my uterus. Somehow, that surgery really took it out of me, in ways that seem far worse than either of my c-sections. Well, maybe not my second. I really seemed to struggle after that one. After the laparoscopy, it really hit me and I ate a lot of junk food. We went on holiday in the May of 2012, we walked a gorge and in all of the pictures I have a tummy that despite me always seeing, wasn’t in any of the other photos I looked at the other day. I think I stopped being as active after the surgery and whilst I did stop being so active after my c-sections, there were a lot of other body changes going on at the same time so I went in to my first pregnancy carrying more weight than usual as I never attempted to try and shift it. I’m not sure that I ever realised it was fully there.

So, to have actively worked at losing weight and thinking that I can do it, that I can get further, it feels amazing to me. Okay, after the next 0.3kg, my next goal is 10kg away and gets me to that first pre pregnancy weight, which was bumped up by post-surgery laziness. Do you know what though, I can do it!

I know I can.

Not only have I done a once through of the photos and emptied one whole album, I have also fully decluttered the bathroom. I sorted out old medicines, bath washes that I have had for years and am never going to use, done an all around tidy and checked my sun creams for this year! I am finished with the first round of clothes sorting. I even found all of my pyjama tops which was good as I no longer need to wear nursing tops to bed. My clothes will need another sort through, but I need to wait and see what my body is like when I feel happy with the weight loss and once I’m back at work wearing normal clothes! Haha. I’ve also gone through all of my cookbooks and added over half to the pile. Maybe one day I’ll go back to trying to cook from scratch and actually cooking rather than just throwing meat and veg in a slow cooker with a random jar of sauce, but not today! I’m also going to start going through some of my books and deciding if I am ever actually going to read them. I think I might donate books I’ve read rather than keeping them because I like the book and/or the author. Apart from my GRRM, Harry Potter, etc sets. Those I’m keeping.

I’m not touching all of my Star Trek books yet though. If I do decide to get rid of them, I need to investigate if there’s somewhere I can maybe sell them on because there are a lot of them and I just don’t think they’d sell well in any of my local charity shops. Plus they’re up in the loft so not a top priority. Yet. I don’t think there’s much that I can do decluttering wise until I get rid of everything in the back room that is waiting for me to sell at the next Little Pickles market, the thought of which is quite exciting. I mean, two hours of trying to sell all of my baby stuff with nanny babysitting so it could be considered a date with hubby! We’ve already decided that any clothes left are going straight to charity. There’s also the excitement that I might then have a clear back room! And I might have more space in my bedroom (where the sit in walker currently lives). Then there’s the excitment that with space in the back room, I can start decluttering that room! And using it for space to help declutter the conservatory, the shed and eventually the loft. I feel a bit stuck until I clear out the back room so next Saturday could be the start of lots of change.

On my social side, I had a mum date last weekend which was fantastic and I have a few plans in the pipe works for other mum dates. I had made lots of plans to meet up for lots of playdates this week, but Elvis was off nursery 3 days out of the 4 so they all got cancelled. Being stuck at home with both kids was pretty awful for me. It’s the biggest trigger. I just feel down, tired, bored and I still can’t figure out which tool is the best to help me sort it. Luckily, I didn’t get too low and I think I quickly realised that it would be done by today and then back to normal. Theoretically it’s the last time that it could happen as well, I’ll be back to work in a month and then any illness from the kids means that I get to actually spend time with them at home. I might enjoy it!

And I booked Elvis’ birthday entertainment this week! I guess, despite the really low mood that I suffered with being trapped at home, I still had a good week and made it to the end of it.

Now, next Saturday will I be posting about how lovely and clear my house is and how I reached my first weight goal?

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Yummy Mummy: Another 0.2kg Lost

A slow week again, but with Robin’s first birthday we ate alot of cake and didn’t eat at home at all for one whole day. On top of that I always have a take away on the weekend. And I had extra lazy days because a cold knocked me out and I’ve just wanted to sleep! 😴

But 0.2 loss is better than nothing and waaaay better than a gain. Only 1.1kg from my first goal! Yay! Maybe 3 weeks if I stay really good.

In other Yummy news, I’m reading “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” and I am loving being back in Westeros. I’m still doing at least 3 nights of Dance Central aerobics and my PND therapy course has ended so it’s up to me to remember to keep working at keeping me happy (still working on the blog entries). My attempts at my own social life have been knocked a bit but it is cold season and I refused to let some let downs get me down.

I’ve finished decluttering the kitchen cupboards. I simply emptied one and sorted through it, ditching things that haven’t been used in ages, dishes without lids or multiples (who needs 3 ceramic trays?) And then moved on to the next. I do still have the stuck thought of I might use it one day which I can’t shake, but I’m making steps to make space.

I just spent this morning clearing through my clothes stored under the bed and although I do have a huge pile to donate to charity, I still have loads to put back under there. I am incredibly proud of my self, however, as I hate getting rid of perfectly good clothes. The problem is I do consider my body is in a state of flux. I am actively trying to lose weight and I’ve been pregnant for over half of the past 3 years, so just because I have loads of clothes that don’t fit, it does not mean that they won’t again. I’ve read some articles on declutttering and they state that you should get rid of things that don’t fit, if you ever lose the weight, you’ll want to buy new. Well, I don’t think that applies to me quite yet. These articles are quite ruthless on what you should ditch and whilst I’m nowhere near their level, I’m ditching stuff I wouldn’t have before. If part of my PND is feeling like I lost myself then why would I get rid of the clothes that I associate with the me that I was, the me that I assume or hope I will be again?

Or maybe that’s exactly why I should get rid of them. A clean slate and all. The person that I was is never going to be the person I can be again. I’m a whole new person and that person who wore Little Miss t-shirts is like my distant relative.

It’s just that, yes, my whole entire body has changed, but I’ve spent 3 years in maternity/nursing-able clothing and, well, it’s pissing me off. I’m fed up with it now and I keep all of the clothes that I loved back in the distant past because I want to remember what I was, who I was, what I looked like, but also what I can be when I don’t need an expandable waist to accommodate a growing child or easy access to my boobs for another growing child.

I’ll re-evaluate the clothes when I get to either the right weight or when my breastfeeding journey ends forever, but even so, I’ve cleared out 3 big bags for charity.

Along with 2 bags waiting to be taken to our local BHF store, I also have three bags of kitchen things ready to go and maybe a box plus of kitchen things that are currently in the shed… they may have to wait until I clear up some space as they might need a clean now! Our back room is still a dumping ground. There’s the three huge piles of boxes that are waiting for the next Little Pickles Market and two huge piles of DVDs/games waiting for me to sort out a Music Magpie order. Oh, and I sold on most of my unwanted Christmas presents last week on ebay and made over ÂŁ40. This house will declutter, it will just take a while as I am a super-hoarder.

So, maybe only 0.2kg down, but two huge bags and three carrier bags of charity worthy stuff down. That’s a pretty good week, I reckon!

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Operation Yummy Mummy: 0.8kg Down!

Woohoo! So, after yesterday’s God awful mood, apparently it paid off! I really was not expecting to have lost 0.8kg. I really didn’t. I mean I was super good. I used my fitbit to track my calories in (although very roughly because I am not about to start weighing all of my food), I only went over my allowance yesterday – which was more because I really was not very active. Today and tomorrow might be a problem, but my baby girl only turns one once! I also did have some junk food (that which is forbidden), like jelly babies, some left over Christmas chocolate, but I ate far more in moderation than normally.

Apart from today perhaps, but I needed to make birthday cakes and check the icing tastes nice!

I think I also did well with my step count every day last week including Friday. And I did some Dance Central on my Xbox, which really works up a sweat.

According to my weight goal (the first of which is my pre-Robin weight), I am only 1.3kg away. Then I’ll only be 10 away from my ultimate goal, 15kg away from my I can dream that I look like my 18 year old self again, can’t I? goal, which I think I’d actually be too skinny if I lost that much weight.

I have 7 weeks until I return to work, about 5 until I head out to do the return to work clothes shopping, I reckon I can reach my first goal and be on the way to the second. I’m assuming that it’s going to start to get harder the longer I go though. The fat will be more stuck on me and it’ll be less pregnancy weight and just I ate too many cookies weight. But I am also hoping that my activity levels increase once back at work.

On other Yummy Mummy news, I am almost at the end of Hester Browne’s Swept off her Feet. It took me forever to get into, but one of my goals from therapy was to read more, to dedicate time to it and enjoy it, so after my Dance Central fun, I have a bath and read at least a chapter. I am so enjoying it and am, of course, rooting for Evie and Robert. But then, I always root for the main character in most books but definitely in Hester’s (except Little Lady Agencies, where I never liked the American and always preferred the best friend… 3 books later!). I really really want Evie to stay and help run the castle with Robert!

I haven’t done anything on the social side of things, but Hubby had football which takes him out ALL day and I didn’t want to risk a bad night’s sleep the night before. This coming week looks far more promising…!

So, as we pretty much literally approach the dawn of my baby girl reaching her first ever birthday, I do finally feel like I can say that I’m happy.

 

I’m happy!

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Operation Yummy Mummy: 0.3kg down

As part of my Operation Yummy Mummy, I am actively trying to lose my baby weight. Mainly by eating less junk food and by doing more exercise. Last summer I actually started enjoying jogging, but I’m a wimp and hate the wind (which is incredibly strong and bitingly cold at the moment), so instead I’m focussing on using my Xbox1 to do aerobics, which I am loving – currently using Dance Central and it is fab! The eating of junk food is a bit hit and miss, but I am using my fitbit to monitor what I eat and it helps. I do also love it recording my active minutes!

Anywho, this week’s weigh in  showed a 0.3kg loss! I’m very pleased. I’ve had some incredibly active days this week, but Friday’s are always my lazy days and I had a takeaway (although I did overeat, my overall calorie intake yesterday wasn’t too bad), but to know that I managed to lose 0.3 during a week where I wasn’t super strict on the junk food is quite pleasing.

2.1kg left to lose for my first goal – pre-second pregnancy weight! I’ll make a hopeful prediction of 7 weeks at the 0.3 rate, which is also roughly when I go back to work, too.

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#getoffthesofa

I think I decided to start getting off the sofa just after Easter (probably with the thought that I’d start it properly once all of that chocolate was gone. Ha!) And I think I posted about having an April’s Resolution, well here I am a month later.

I’ve definitely been more active in the past month. Partly with help from some Mummies from my local breastfeeding group – the group isn’t on over Easter so we went walking instead. Since then the 4 mornings that Elvis is at nursery I go for a walk and Robin falls asleep in the pram. I think it’s getting her into a bit of a routine. A bit.

I have bought chocolate and cakes since I started my resolution but they’ve always been my weakness. Because, yes, the goal is to be healthier and help shift some of my pregnancy tum but it’s also just to get me out of the house.

With Elvis I could leave the house whenever I wanted. Go for a walk. Wander around the shops. He napped every morning at half 9 and evening at half 4 in the pushchair because I went out. It’s probably why I was far less achey with him. I don’t have that luxury now.

With Robin, she has to be in the pushchair 1230-1330 for the nursery run. Then for the rest of the afternoon I can’t go out as Elvis naps upstairs. It’s frowned upon. So mornings are for walking.

And it certainly is the weather for it. Hopefully once Robin manages to be put down for her naps (oh help me God, let her sleep in her bed during the day) then the snack food eating will stop. I only do it because I get so bored and lonely rocking her in the nursing chair.

Technically it should be #getoffthenursingchair as she won’t actually let me sit on the sofa.

Here are April’s stats:
Clothes – still in maternity trousers. My size 16 do fit bit underneath my wobbly jiggly bits. In all of my nursing tops from before.
Weight to lose – I started this wanting to lose 20kg. I still have 20kg to lose.
Aches and Pains – I have general relaxin based joint pains and my shoulders/neck hurt from spending so much time rocking in the nursing chair.

Now on with May!

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New Year’s Resolution. In April

It’s an easter resolution really, I guess. And not truly official yet.

I don’t remember feeling like this with Elvis. I have a burning desire to exercise. Possibly because I can’t. And I feel really ugly and fat. Possibly because I had a baby ten weeks ago and keep eating chocolate to make me feel better about being stuck in a nursing chair (it doesn’t make me frel better).

It’s spring. It’s sunny and I sleep relatively well at night.

I’m going to go on walks with Robin. Power walks. I’m going to stop the eating of chocolate. I’ve got out my mum’s left behind sit up thingies and I’m going to use them.

I don’t want to weigh 12 stone anymore.

~ P

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Sharing The Journey

How come I always seem to end up pregnant at the same time as thin people? Seriously! Maybe it’s my own fault for knowing people 2 or 3 sizes smaller than me. Before getting pregnant with Elvis, I was about a size 12, possibly 14 in trousers for comfort. Now, I do remember weighing myself for the first few months post birth and I did lose the weight. I just never lost the tummy! I never exactly tried.

But, this time around I feel like I’ve exploded. My pre-pregnancy weight this time was 5kg above my Elvis pre-pregnancy weight – the problem I have is they record this weight at my 12 week scan, after the nausea filled crisp fest! I’m not too sure where the new 5kg had come from, maybe my decreasing breastfeeding? Or simply a love of junk!

The annoying thing is probably my family who constantly make a huge deal about my pregnancy size. I was big enough to have twins last time. I was just a giant belly last time. Thankfully I have a lovely husband who never makes me feel so self conscious about my pregnant body.

I guess the worst thing for my self conscious pregnant self is being a 12-14 pregnant mumma next to size 6-8 pregnant mummas. Both times! None of them ever got as big as me, especially 42 week pregnant me! And I just look huge in comparison. At 4 months, I was bigger than a size 6-8 full term mumma! Or then the random, incredibly insensitive comments — it’s one thing when it comes from family and friends (most of whom seem to have learnt this time around!) but somehow even worse when it’s from a stranger. I can be bitchy back to family and friends, I can tell them their comments have upset me, I can be sarcastic back, even hurtful to them in a hormonal fit, but to random people? I can’t be rude back even though they’ve been rude to me. This pregnancy I’ve had “Oh, did you carry big with Elvis?” and “The PE teacher is only 6 weeks less pregnant than you, but you can’t even tell she’s pregnant. Are you sure there’s not two in there?” How rude are those people? People I don’t even know the name of! Well, people like that, let me explain a little bit of science to you – abdominal muscles are stretched during a pregnancy. Sometimes in a second + pregnancy, those muscles can separate a lot because of the first pregnancy. Especially when two pregnancies occur close together. It all depends on what your muscle tone was like before each pregnancy. Mine before Elvis would never have been as good as a freaking PE teacher’s so, yeah, I look far bigger. Or, perhaps there’s something wrong with the growth of my unborn child, thanks for bringing it up. (There isn’t as far as I’m aware and my fundal measurements are spot on so if I am too big, it is actually fat and not baby).

And that’s whilst pregnant, when I lie to myself that I need the chocolate, crisps and cake, when I feel revolted by meat but will eat pizza after pizza, when I decide to nap or relax rather than exercise. What’s probably worse is after the birth as I watch my size 6-8 mummas shrink back to that pre-pregnancy size and I don’t. I’ve never been able to lose weight. I’ve always cared but always been lazy! I can’t diet. I can’t exercise for weight loss, only fun. But how will I fit in swimming or jogging with two kiddies? And now I can barely walk around!

I have found an amazing new pregnancy hero though (through her breastfeeding photos) – Alyssa Milano. I was a huge fan of Charmed and did love all 4 sisters, although Phoebe may not have been in my top 3, and I recently saw a breastfeeding picture that she posted online – she looks fabulous! But then, after following her on facebook, I went back through a few images and found ones when she was pregnant. She wasn’t a stick-thin preggo. It feels kinda reassuring. Famous people are real, too.

Maybe I’ll just stay a blob forever. Or get the diet willpower. Or find friends who blow up and don’t snap back in days!

~ P

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Jumping on the Royal Bandwagon

I don’t really care about famous people’s pregnancies. It’s not meant as a mean thing, I just don’t really follow celebrities like that. Sure, I follow certain people on twitter – normally part of my geekness, not because I want to stalk them through nine months of a pregnancy and then in the months following. It isn’t that I’m unhappy for them, I just don’t think it’s any of my (read: the world’s) business. Which is why I’ve never blogged, tweeted, etc about any pregnancy of a famous person. Including Kate Middleton’s.

Until now.

I’m jumping, not on the bandwagon of following her pregnancy. Obviously, her son has been born. Neither is it the bandwagon of what will the prince be called. The whole world knows.

Nope, I’m on the bandwagon of #Dontbuyok.

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Weekly Weigh In: Perks of Breastfeeding?

It was the 6 week post natal check and Elvis checks out all okay. Unfortunately the GP decided to not weigh him so I’ll have to wait for next Monday and visiting the drop in center.

Having visited Nanny today though, I did get to weigh myself. I’m now 69kg so inly 1kg off the maternity unit’s pre-pregnancy weight recorded for me. That was at 12 weeks though and I’d been eating a lot of crisps to rid my morning sickness. Before I got pregnant I was 63kg. And before investigative laparoscopy, I was 58kg.

Either way I’m not trying to lose weight, it’s more curiousity. There is also the interesting information that I’m wearing a pre-pregnancy top that is a bit tight around my boobs and just about does up over my tummy.

Perks of breastfeeding!

~ Persephone M

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